“It was the last thing my mommy bought for me, Bastian. It was all I had left of her. It was all I had left and they destroyed it!” Finally Jaxsen crumbled. Sebastian caught him as he threw himself at him, his wails unlike anything he’d heard before. There was no consolation he could offer. Nothing could fix or undo the destruction of the camel leather journal his mother bought him one month before her death. 

“Don’t make me go back to that place, Bastian, please. Please, I don’t wanna go back. Please, Bastian, please. Please don’t make me go back.” His thunderous wails permeated the room; his begging both deafening and heart breaking. Sebastian just held him, his palm smoothing up and down his back. Nizhoni, who’d followed Sebastian up a few minutes later, looked at Sebastian over Jaxsen’s head in question. At some point through the tears Jaxsen reached his hand out to her, searching for that maternal feeling she carried. Nizhoni promptly locked her fingers with his, lightly kissing his knuckles and softly wiping his cheeks.

Jaxsen sniffled and sat up. It was as if the movement zapped him of what energy he had left. For a moment he kept his head down trying to compose himself before meeting Sebastian’s eyes. “Do I have to go back?” His voice cracked at the word ‘back’ and Sebastian pulled him back into his arms.

“No, sweet boy, you don’t have to go back, okay?” Jaxsen slumped forward, his head landing on Sebastian’s shoulder, his fists curled into Sebastian’s shirt. He nodded his head and took a deep breath, slowly letting it out.

“Hey, sweet boy, let me see your sides.” 

Jaxsen’s eyes widened and he looked at Nizhoni. “Bastian?” 

“I need to see what those kids did to you. Nizhoni, can you give us a few, please?” Nizhoni nodded, giving Sebastian a look Jaxsen couldn’t decipher and left the room. 

Sebastian lifted up Jaxsen’s shirt and frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?” He lightly ran his fingers along the bruises against his ribs. Jaxsen hissed.

“I don’t know. I hoped they’d just leave me alone.”

“If anyone ever does anything like this again, I want you to inform me immediately, do you understand?” Jaxsen nodded, his eyes raining once more. “No one gets away with hurting you anymore. Let me know so I can do something about it, alright?”

“Okay. I’m sorry.” His breath hitched, his face pinching in an attempt to keep himself in check.

“Don’t be sorry. I don’t want you to apologize, Jack. I’m not mad at you, sweet boy. I just want you to tell me things like this, okay?”

“Okay, Bastian.”

Suddenly Jaxsen was very tired. He felt like he’d been going non-stop for days. Sebastian held him a moment longer feeling the boy relax in his arms. He didn’t want to let him go but a glance at the clock on the nightstand told him it was time to leave for work.

“Jack, I gotta get going, sweet boy.” He tried to gently push him back to a sitting position. An attempt that failed as Jaxsen came awake and wrapped his arms around Sebastian’s neck.

“Don’t go, Bastian. Please, don’t go.” He brought his head up, azure eyes stained red along with puffy, reddened cheeks. The look in his eyes made Sebastian cave. He couldn’t say no. “Please, stay with me?” 

Sebastian swiped a tear from Jaxsen’s cheek and kissed his forehead gingerly. “If that’s what you need, sweet boy.” Jaxsen studiously nodded, his sapphire eyes alight with an amalgam of emotion. “Alright, Jack.” Sebastian kissed his forehead again and pulled him into a hug which he returned with determined fervor. 

As soon as Jaxsen was sure of everything he slumped completely into Sebastian’s chest and fell asleep; exhaustion of the last few days finally taking its toll. Nizhoni smiled fondly at them as she leaned against the door jam. 

“Why don’t you lie with him, bich’aah neiit’aash? I’ve got a few things I can finish. Lay with him. Hold him. Be his father, Sebastian. Blood lines don’t make a damn. Be his father.” Kissing him gently she left the room once more, quietly closing the door behind her.

Nizhoni’s words still echoing in his head, Sebastian called to cancel his class, and lay Jaxsen down with whispers of reassurance he was going nowhere, and laid out next to him. As soon as he lay flat, forty-five pounds of sleeping child flopped on top of him. He chuckled to himself, shimmied into a comfortable position, pulled Jaxsen a bit closer and held him a bit tighter. Jaxsen smiled in his sleep, cuddled further into him, and soon Sebastian joined Jaxsen in Slumber-land. 

Come Wednesday Sebastian found himself sitting in Mr. Mitchel Lawry’s office; the principal of Jaxsen’s now former elementary school.

“So, Mr. Green-“

“Sebastian, please. Mr. Green was my father.”

Mr. Lawry smiled kindly. He had that look to him, Sebastian thought, of a kind, elderly grandfather with bright, benevolent beryl eyes. 

“Yes, of course,” he said. “Sebastian. You mentioned over the phone the need to pull Jaxsen from enrollment?”

“Yes, sir, that’s correct.” Sebastian shifted in his chair.

“Might I ask the reason? Academically he’s doing very well. High A’s in all his classes. Last week his history teacher, Mrs. Boston, came to me suggesting we give him an aptitude test. She seems to believe he’s not being challenged enough. Now, if you like, he can still take the test, and if his scores are high enough, I know of a school not too far from here that enrolls exceptionally bright children. It’s late in the year, but I can see what strings I can pull.” He paused to look at Sebastian and was pleased to see interest in his eyes.

“The school,” Mr. Lawry continued, “is unique in its curriculum. Each child takes a placement test to see where his or her strengths and weaknesses are. Now the classroom itself is grouped partially by age and partially by the test scores. The children that are weaker in some subjects can find help in their classmates as well as the teacher. The assignments given on a day to day basis are largely individually based work determined on where they fall on their testing scores, minus some partnered projects throughout the year. Does that sound like something Jaxsen would be interested in?”

Sebastian was surprised. He wasn’t expecting that. He smiled. “Yes, I’m sure that would be great. As to why I’m pulling him; he seems to be having issues with a group of older boys.”

The elderly man nodded. “Yes, I believe I know what group you are referring to. Go on.”

“Well, apparently, they’d been picking on him for some time now. Something he kept hidden from me until Monday. See, Mr. Lawry, Jaxsen’s parents were both killed in front of him. He’s gone through a lot in the past couple years. His mother, shortly before her death, bought him a journal. It was his most prized possession. The boys cornered him in the bathroom after school Friday, threw him into a bench and destroyed it. He doesn’t want to come back. Also I found evidence of bruising from when he hit the bench, and older ones from other times he was cornered.”

Mr. Lawry nodded and thought for a moment. “Such a shame the morals children are taught these days. If you ask me, I’d say the lot of them need a good few swats with a large belt.” He shook his head. “I will apply an apt punishment to those boys. I am sorry such callowness and lack of amity coupled with such single-minded cruelty of these boys have affected him so. Give me about a week. I have to call the headmaster and see what I can work out. I will call you to set up an appointment for the test hopefully by the end of business day next Friday.”

Sebastian smiled relieved. He’d been wondering and almost nervous on how this meeting would go. “Sounds good, Sir. I thank you for your help. It’s greatly appreciated.”

They both stood and Mr. Lawry came round the front of the desk to shake Sebastian’s hand. “Not a problem, Sebastian. I’m sorry it didn’t work out for Jaxsen. I hope Eurisko Academy goes better for him. Best of luck to you both.”

“Thanks again. I’ll speak with you in a week.”

The week dragged by for them all. While glad he didn’t have to go back to Madison Elementary, Jaxsen only seemed mildly interested in the possibilities Eurisko presented. He moped around and was uncharacteristically quiet. For all their efforts neither Sebastian nor Nizhoni could break him of his silence. They were both worried. Sebastian noticed that when he became overly stressed he’d stop talking for a day or so…but so far he’d not spoken since he’d stayed home from his part-time writing class he taught a couple times a week. He stayed in his room more than he came out. He hadn’t eaten no matter what food Nizhoni tried coaxing him with. Only taking small bites here and there of his meals.

“Tell me what happened to him.” Her voice left no room to book an argument. Sebastian glanced sideways at her. Her face was stern as her tone and he knew he had to tell her. Sighing he launched into what details the social worker had told him over the phone.

“I honestly don’t know more than that. She really just gave me the gist without going into too much detail.”

Nizhoni looked sick with what he had been able to inform her. Her face was pale and she was trembling with anger. No doubt her own experiences played across her memory.

“Was there…” She choked on the words but needn’t finish. He knew what she was asking. 

“No. There was never a report of it, anyway.” She nodded and Sebastian kissed the top of her head. He remembered the lost little girl she’d once been. How when he’d met her, she hadn’t spoken a word in three years. He’d taught her American Sign Language and, eventually, gave her the strength and courage to speak. He allowed her to believe that not every male would hurt her. As the years passed growing up she fell in love with him; not wanting to, and completely against her will. The fact that she wanted his touch scared her as much as the thought of being intimate with anyone.

“Why are people so cruel, Sebastian? He’s just a baby.” I was just a baby… He knew, no he felt those unspoken words hanging over them, screaming in deafening silence.

He kissed her lips gently and tenderly brushed away her tears. “Why don’t you go and talk to him? Hold him. You understand better than I how he feels…maybe you can help him. He trusts you. And with the journal incident, maybe a motherly touch is what he needs. Perhaps you can bring him out of this.”