Jonathan lay in Mayson's arms there at the bottom of the deck steps, long after his tears finally dried. He didn't feel like he was there with Mayson, but back at that house, his little brother being ripped apart, and he not being able to protect him. Mayson's arms stayed tightly locked around Jonathan, keeping him anchored to the now best he could.

In the distance, at the edge of the world, the sun began to make its journey across the sky. Mayson looked downward into Jonathan's face. His cheeks were pale, his lips a thin line drawn into a frown. His eyes holding a lifetime of pain and guilt and grief.

Mayson understood that they came here to allow him to heal, but as he sat there looking at his closest friend, he was glad that he could be there for him. He'd failed him the whole time he was with Lucius in many ways. He fell for the same tricks again. He failed to listen to Jonathan's warnings, brushing them off as him being too overprotective. He knew now how wrong he was. How wrong he was about everything.

But God, he was scared. Terrified that he'd fuck it up. That he'd freeze when Jonathan wanted sex. That he'd forever cringe away when Jonathan reached for him. That some stupid movie would set him off.

There was so much that was still untold. What if he left? What if he finally gets the courage to tell Jonathan everything and he left him, unable to look at him after what he was made to do. Would he be able to look at him the same way? Would he touch him without recoil?

"Jonny?" Mayson looked downward at Jonathan's dark brown eyes. "You wanna go inside? I can make us some breakfast and maybe afterward we can go lie back down? I know you didn't sleep..."

Jonathan stayed quiet for a moment before nodding. He turned and kissed the inside of the bend at his elbow before sitting up. "Thank you, little duck. I can't imagine where my life would be without you in it. Nowhere good." As he spoke he gently ran his knuckle over Mayson's right cheekbone. Mayson blushed and looked away, his eyes staring out as the water reflected the beginnings of a new chapter.

He didn't know if he was worth the trouble he was sure to be in the long run. He didn't know if he could handle the fight it would take to defeat his demons. He didn't know if he deserved more than what monsters like Lucius Black had to offer him. He did, however, know that he didn't want the monster's offerings any more than he wanted to be beaten and controlled.

"Can I tell you something?"

"Anything, little duck."

"You're the only person I've ever known that makes me feel like a person...I don't know what I'd do without you, either, Jonny."

Jonathan smiled causing Mayson's lips to curl slightly upward.

"Need to work on that."

Mayson frowned. "On what?"

"You've got a beautiful smile, Mayson." With his right thumb, Jonathan lightly traced his way across his lips. How badly in that moment did he want to lean forward and be granted a kiss against those full lips. "You said something about breakfast?" Jonathan asked pulling away and breaking the moment.

"Yeah. Come on, let's get inside. I know how you get when you're hungry and not eating."

They both laughed. "There it is," Jonathan said touching Mayson's cheek. "You really are beautiful, Mayson."

Mayson blushed fiercely but something in Jonathan's eyes made him not look away this time. Mayson stared deeply into Jonathan's eyes before breaking away to look at their hands, clasped together, pressed tightly above his heart. It was beating very fast and hard like he was nervous about something. Mayson was acutely aware of the heat coming from Jonathan's body; it warmed his very soul. Mayson's light, azure eyes found their way back upward into the curious stare of Jonathan's dark chocolate orbs. Slowly he found himself leaning inward as if he were being pulled toward Jonathan's lips. He watched as their mouths became ever closer.

Mayson hesitated just millimeters from that soft, first contact. Then all that had hidden away in these last few moments came rushing back, and he remembered why he always resisted Jonathan.

Jonathan saw the very second the moment shattered at his feet like the destruction of a window from a burglar's weapon, breaking and entering to rip out his heart.

"I'm sorry," Jonathan whispered before releasing Mayson's hand and stepping around him. "I'm gonna go take a shower. I'll be back in a few." Jonathan looked at him for a moment before turning and walking away.

He closed the bathroom door, stripped, and turned on the water. When it was suitably hot, he climbed in and let the water cascade over his head. He sighed. He had to be patient. Knowing this didn't stop the pain at being rejected. It had never phased him before. Being rejected by others wasn't something he gave a second mind to. Mayson was different. He always had been.

Jonathan imagined Mayson entering the shower and kissing him, his hard body, dry where the water had yet to reach, against his own shower-soaked chest.

Mayson ran his hands down Jonathan's body, traveling past his navel, and grasping his hardening member. He tried not to moan as he began stroking himself, imagining Mayson was the one giving him pleasure.

Jonathan's jaw dropped as he pictured what it would feel like as Mayson's warm mouth wrapped around his cock, sucking and stroking as his tongue and hand worked together in tandem.

Jonathan stroked harder, twisting his fist up and down and around as his balls began to tighten. He leaned heavily against the shower wall, biting his lip to keep quiet as his orgasm hit the tiles in long, hard streams.

The bliss didn't last long, soon to be left with a cold emptiness in its wake. He had no warning as the tears began to fall, and he wept for what could never be.