Ivan kissed him again before allowing Corbin to push him down flat against the mattress. Soon they were rid of all clothing, Ivan letting Corbin have every bit of control. Secretly Ivan enjoyed when Corbin dominated him in bed. It was a side Ivan didn't get to experience often and when he did, he was filled with a different kind of excitement.

Ivan moaned when Corbin swallowed him whole, his hips automatically thrusting upward the slightest bit. Ivan bit his lip and closed his eyes as all feeling became overwhelming. Corbin slowly worked his way up Ivan's body, teasing his nipples with the right amalgamation of teeth and tongue, before arriving at his lips. He loved Ivan's lips. He kissed him in a euphoric dream, smiling as Ivan moaned louder as he pushed himself inside Ivan's slicked body.

Corbin watched Ivan's face as he continued the sweet torture of their union, memorizing Ivan's face, his sounds, each and every shuddering ripple that coursed through his body. He smiled as he made a realization. He was looking at Ivan in a new light. No longer was he afraid of losing Ivan to his past. That part of him was really and truly gone. No longer was he worried that Ivan would leave him. He knew he had much to work out, just as he knew that it wouldn't always be easy traveling. But he smiled in a happiness that he never thought he'd feel, full of a love he never thought he deserved. He knew that their lives with each other were only just beginning, and excitement filled him at what was to come. 

They lay in bed that night, tangled within each other, trailing lazy kisses along shoulders and lips. Corbin smiled to himself, feeling loved and safe. "Ivan...can I tell you something?"

"You can always tell me anything, my love," he replied, his voice soft and quiet against the comfortable silence they lay in.

"I've been thinking and...well...with as much pain that I've gone through in my life...if in knowing that if I had to do it again it would lead me to you...I would. I'd do it all again. Because if not going through it meant that at the end of it I wouldn't have you...it wouldn't be worth it." Corbin kissed him gently, tears gently falling down his face. Ivan swiped them away and smiled, the lump too big in his throat to speak. "I love you so much, Ivan. Thank you for loving me. And not giving up on me."

"Loving you is the easiest, most natural thing I do aside from breathing. It never wavers. It never stops. I love you, Corbin McCallum."

Corbin smiled as he kissed the one person he'd ever loved. "I love you, too. So much. I love you."

At times I almost dream I too have spent a life the sage's way and tread once more familiar paths. Perchance I perished in arrogant self-reliance an age ago, and in that act a prayer for one more chance went up so earnest. Instinct with better light let in by death that life was blotted out not so completely, but scattered wrecks enough of it to remain dim memories, as now it seems once more the goal is in sight again.

Ivan awoke momentarily confused as to why he'd woken up. He looked around his darkened room then over to his left, a frown creasing his brow as he saw Corbin wasn't next to him. The space beside him wasn't yet completely cold, signifying his love hadn't been gone long. Throwing the covers off his legs, Ivan set his feet on the ground and stood, rubbing his eyes as he made his way out of the bedroom.

The living room remained dark but there was just enough light to leave Corbin in shadow. He didn't move as Ivan sat down next to him, his knee bent as he faced Corbin. "Hey. What's going on, Cory?" Ivan didn't move to touch him, though he was within reaching distance, despite every instinct telling him to with great emphasis. "Corbin."

Corbin blinked and when he did, Ivan noticed for the first time the silent tears running down his face. It had been six weeks since the fiasco with Alister Martin, Corbin's father. And while the daylight hours had their own obstacles, the night brought on its own bought of horrors. Mainly in the way of nightmares that wouldn't leave him in peace. Corbin leaned into Ivan, Ivan's arms encircling him instantly as Corbin's breathing both began to hitch and accelerate. "When will this end, Ivan? I just want it to stop."

Whatever else he said was swallowed by the pronounced sobbing that overtook his body. Ivan held Corbin against him as he screamed and wailed into his chest. Corbin's fists clenched and unclenched in Ivan's shirt, his entire body rigid while it quaked violently within Ivan's grasp. Ivan said nothing of importance, whispering in Corbin's ear, kissing along his temple and hair line. At long last he seemed to calm, his breathing evening and his tears, while still falling, had slowed considerably. "Ivan?"

"What, my love?"

"I've been thinking...about what you said about talking to someone professional..."

Ivan's fingers ran up and down Corbin's arm, comforting. "Mhm," he said, his lips pressing to Corbin's temple.

"If...if I agree to it...will...will you be there with me?" Corbin wouldn't look at him as he made this request, pulling himself instead even closer to Ivan. Ivan, in response, accommodated this by pulling him the rest of the way on his lap, his arms reaffirming their hold when he was once again settled.

"Better?" Ivan asked. Corbin, who was tucked under Ivan's chin, his ear against Ivan's chest, listening to the steady thump, thump, thump of his heart, nodded. "If you want me to be in there with you, I'll be there by your side. If you'd rather me wait in the waiting room, I'll do that, too. Whatever you need me to do, baby."

"I need you, Ivan. I need you to love me. I need you to keep me safe through this. I'm scared, Ivan. Of talking about it. Of-of reliving it all over again. Even more than I do already. And I need you with me, Ivan." He took a quivering breath. "Please. Please, Ivan."

Ivan shushed him gently, petting his hair, his hand running over his back. "I've got you, Cory. I'm right here. I'll always love you. I'll love you through the tears, through the laughter. Through it all." His voice was gentle and patient, his touch soft and loving.

Corbin shook his head as he said, "I don't understand why. But I'm grateful for it. For you. You deserve so much more than me. More than...someone's whore."

"Hey, now," Ivan said, his voice now serious as he pushed Corbin back by the shoulders. He didn't break contact with him as he looked into his eyes. "I don't want to hear you talk like that about yourself. You're not a whore. Not mine, not anyone else's. You hear me?" His face softened then as tears began shining once more in Corbin's eyes. "I'm not mad at you." He brought his hand up, cupping Corbin's face, his thumb gently swiping away fallen moisture. "It just..." Ivan looked away and sat back, picking up Corbin's hand as he did so. Watching his own hand play with Corbin's smaller one, he said, "When you say those things about yourself, you get this look and tone that just...screams absolute devastation. And it kills me. It kills me 'cause it kills you. I know when they called you those things it hurt you. They're just lies to keep you manipulated and subservient. Lies, Corbin. Lies you don't need to keep repeating to yourself. Stop hurting yourself like that. Please, Cory."

Corbin looked up at his face at the please, as his voice broke. It wasn't often that Corbin witnessed Ivan's tears, and each time he did it shook him to his core. To Corbin, Ivan was that man's man. Well built, protective. The dragon guarding the castle. He had no weakness to speak of. But in that moment as Corbin looked at him, he knew that last part was wrong. Ivan did have a weakness. Corbin blinked and a single tear fell as he thought this. "I'll try. Sometimes it's a reflex. Will you help me?" His voice was weak and clogged.

"Always." Ivan gave him a sad smile that didn't reach his eyes. "What's got you up this late, Cory? It's after three."

Corbin folded himself back into Ivan's chest, relishing in the warmth and safety he instantly felt when Ivan's arms wrapped around him. "I had a bad dream," he said simply. Ivan felt as he pressed himself further into him as he spoke those words.

Kissing his hair, Ivan said, "You wanna tell me about it?"

Corbin let out a sob at the question, his hold tightening and his grip reaffirming. "No. No, Ivan, please don't make me."

"Sh, sh, easy, my love. I'm not gonna make you do anything you don't want to or aren't ready to do. It's alright, my love. Easy, Cory, easy." Ivan sighed heavily, his heart breaking for the man in his arms. Once Corbin had suffeciantly calmed down Ivan said, "Come on, love. Let's go back to bed, okay?"

Gingerly Corbin sat back up, shaking his head. "You can go to bed if you're tired. I...I don't want to go back to sleep." Ivan watched him for a moment before kissing his temple, stood and returned to the bedroom. Corbin watched him go, disappointment sinking into his bones, but before he fully looked away from the open doorway, Ivan was coming back with the spare blanket and his pillow. He smiled, grateful for Ivan, for his love, as Ivan dropped the pillow in his lap, laid down on the couch with his head in Corbin's lap and got comfortable.

"I'm exhausted. But I don't want you to be alone. Wake me up if you need me, okay?" Ivan leaned up, pressing his lips softly against Corbin's, before settling down and falling right to sleep.

"You ready, Cory?" Ivan asked as he checked his watch one more time. Corbin looked at him, fear in his eyes and shook his head. Ivan closed the distance, cupping his face gently within his fingertips. "I'll be right there the whole time. They're not going to force you to talk about anything you're not ready to talk about, okay?" Corbin nodded, tears falling with the blinking of his eyes. Ivan gently swiped them away. "We probably won't even get into the hard stuff today. Just breathe, it'll be alright. Okay?"

Corbin nodded and closed his eyes. "Okay."

"Alright, now that the paperwork is out of the way..." The woman smiled gently at them both. "As I said before, my name is Morigan. Corbin, I want you to know that nothing will be discussed you're not ready to discuss. You can stop at any time or change the subject at any time. Everything is on your timeline."

Corbin sat as close to Ivan as he possibly could without being completely on top of him. His hand remained firm in its grip of Ivan's. He nodded. "Okay."

"I know this is hard. But you're doing the right thing. The best thing for yourself. And you've got a great support system." She smiled briefly at Ivan. "And know, Corbin, that I am always on your side. There won't be any judgement on my part. I'm here to help you. And I aim to do just that. You won't be forced into anything here. Like I said, this is on your timeline."

Corbin nodded again. "Okay. Th-thank you." He glanced at her and smiled the barest smile. She returned it gently. "I have to admit that I'm scared. I've never told anyone anything about my past. Not Ivan, not anyone. Ivan found out a different way..."

Morigan nodded gently. "How did you feel when you found out Ivan knew about your past?"

Corbin looked down at his hands, his top teeth gnawing on his bottom lip. "I...scared. I was...terrified. Resigned." 

Morigan watched him for a moment, her eyes glancing to Ivan to gauge his reactions as much as she gauged Corbin's. "Resigned to what, exactly?"

Corbin took several moments to even out his breathing before he began to answer her question. "Resigned to the fact, or what I presumed to be fact, that now that he knew, he would leave me. And that scared me so much. I didn't want him to hate me for what they made us do. What they made me do." 

Corbin sniffled and wiped at his eyes. Ivan smiled lightly at him, a small smile full of his own pain. He took Corbin's hand in his, squeezing it with loving pressure.

 "What about you Ivan?" Morigan asked.

Ivan looked at her with a deer-in-the-headlights kind of expression. "What about me?"

"How did you feel when you discovered what happened to Corbin as a child?"

Ivan didn't answer for a moment, not having been expecting to have to answer questions himself. "I mean..." he paused, flustered. "I... was devastated. I was angry. I wanted to kill that man." Corbin looked at Ivan as he spoke, but Ivan didn't meet his gaze. "I did kill him."

"How did you two meet each other?" she asked with a small quirk of her lips. 

"Ivan saved me." Corbin glanced back over at Ivan, but Ivan's vision was pointed at the carpeted floor beneath his feet. "I was living with someone who wasn't very nice. Ivan saved me from him at the park."

Ivan smiled the barest smile before he told her the story of how he and Sam were walking through Veterans Memorial Park and their chance meeting of Corbin. "He was so scared...I found myself wanting to...protect him...to...to get that hauntingly haunted and sad look from his expression. Out of his eyes. I don't know when, exactly, but I found one day that I was in love with him...and I swore to myself that I wouldn't let him be hurt again." Realizing how much he said without meaning to, he stopped. 

"And was he hurt again?" 

Ivan squeezed his eyes shut, his heart breaking as he relived walking into that room. "Yes." Ivan's voice had grown thick and raspy. 

"Corbin," Morigan said as she gave Ivan a moment to regather himself. Corbin looked from Ivan to her, his eyes shining at the guilt he saw on Ivan's face. "Do you still think Ivan will leave you because of your past?"

Corbin looked to Ivan. His eyes were screwed tightly shut, his fists balled against his thighs. He could tell Ivan was controlling his breathing as he was unexpectedly having to deal with his own emotions over what happened several months prior. And as he watched him try and stay in control, Corbin realized how we'll Ivan had hidden these feelings in order to take care of him. And suddenly he felt wretched. "No," he said with conviction. And he didn't realize until he said that how true it was. He didn't fear Ivan leaving him. He smiled. "No, I don't. And that's...I've never felt that way before. But I know now that...well, that if that doesn't matter, then..." he sighed as he tried to articulate what he was feeling. "It's freeing."

"Why is that?" Morigan asked with a small smile.