"Liz?" Mykel approached her two days later, his worry for Mattie beginning to overwhelm him. Mattie was still asleep in his own room, having chosen to sleep alone the night before. He stood in her bedroom doorway, his head down, his face drawn.

"Yeah?" She looked up from her phone having just finished sending a text to see if Linda could cover a shift someone had called in for. She studied her younger brother a moment before lightly sighing.
Mykel dragged his feet the five steps to her bed and sat down next to her, sighing heavily. "You okay?"

Mykel shrugged. "I really don't know."

Liz placed her hand along his spine, rubbing gently. "Honey, why don't you try talking to him?"

"He won't talk to me. I have tried. He's been sleeping by himself."

Liz frowned worriedly at her brother. He wore a look he hadn't worn in years; the look he carried around for months before Kaiden killed himself. "He and I are both off today. You want me to talk to him?"

He nodded. "Am I going to lose him, too, Liz?"

"Baby, no. Mattie loves you. He's told me he'd never do that to either of us."

Mykel looked at her with unshed tears in his eyes. "Yeah...Kaiden said that, too." He shook his head lightly, sniffled, and wiped his eyes. He stood, running a hand down his face, in taking a deep breath. "I gotta get to the shop. I love you."

"I love you, too. Be safe out there. Mykel?" Mykel turned back to her, his eyes full of worry. "I won't let anything happen to him."

That night when Mykel got home from the shop, he went straight to his room and quietly closed the door behind him.

When he returned home the house was quiet, the lights dim. He heard no voices and wondered where Liz and Mattie were before turning and heading for the stairs. Entering his room he sat heavily on the bed, the springs bouncing him slightly. With halting hands he reached for the drawer which held Kaiden's last words. He read them for what seemed like the millionth time. And he remembered.

"Kaiden, what are you doing?" Mykel's heart dropped to his toes as he saw his only love packing his clothes into suitcases. The black eye he had received from his father after informing him of his intimate relationship with Mykel had mostly faded into shades of yellow.

Kaiden looked at his clothes before dragging his eyes to Mykel's. "I'm sorry, Mykel." His face was wet with tears, his heartbreak clear in his expression.

"You're sorry?" Mykel repeated, his throat closing up as his mind caught up with his heart. "What the hell does that mean, Kaiden?"

Kaiden looked at him with tears in his eyes before they slowly trekked down his face. "I...he's making me leave you." Kaiden looked down in shame.

"He's making you? You're a grown-ass man, Kaiden." Mykel felt his heart breaking as tears filled his own eyes. "He doesn't control your life." Slowly he made his way over to his best friend and lover, taking his hands in his own. They were cold and clammy to the touch. "Kaiden, please don't do this."

Kaiden released a ragged breath and brought his eyes up from their hands. "I have to, Mykel."

Mykel laughed a sad, humorless laugh that was candy-coated in a pain Kaiden had never before heard from Mykel in his life. "Why? Why do you have to? It isn't like he gives you money or cares about you in the fucking least. Why do you care about him more than me?"

Kaiden closed his eyes as tears fell down his cheeks. "I don't care about him more than you."

"Then don't leave me, Kaiden. Don't do this because of him."

"I have to, " he countered.

Mykel sobbed, clutching onto his lover as his knees gave out. Wrapping his arms around Kaiden's legs he begged, over and over, his chest heaving, his life suddenly in upheaval. He begged as he had never begged before, and Kaiden ran his hands through his hair in a comforting motion, his own heart breaking further. He knew it would be like this. But he knew there was no other option.

What he didn't tell Mykel that night, and what Mykel would never know is that his father threatened to kill his life-long friend if he didn't leave him. His father was a dangerous man and he would never be able to live with himself.

Kaiden listened as Mykel pleaded through his tears and dropped to his own knees in front of him and kissed him one final time. He already knew at this point what he was going to do and was kissing him goodbye. Trading his own life for that of his lover's. He knew Mykel would never give up if he were still alive. "I'm sorry, Mykee."

Mykel's tears dried, but only for a moment. He disengaged himself from Kaiden's embrace and stood. Kaiden stood with him, looking deeply into his eyes, memorizing this moment. "How can you do this, Kaiden?" Mykel's voice no longer wavered as he let his anger and feelings of betrayal take control for the time being.

"I have no choice, Mykel."

"Bullshit you have no fucking choice! You're choosing to leave me because of someone you fucking hate." Mykel's eyes watered again as he felt his soul being ripped asunder. Kaiden said nothing in return to this, simply stared at him with tears cascading down his own face. "Fine, Kaiden." He began to say more, to expound his pain onto his best friend. He turned around and headed back to the front door.

"Mykel?" Mykel turned around, his hand on the doorknob. "I really do love you. I'm sorry."

Mykel smiled sadly at him, the tears unnoticed. "I love you, too." And he walked away from Kaiden, closing the door softly behind him. He could no longer be in that apartment. He couldn't stand by and watch Kaiden pack up their lives without him. So as he had done since he was a child and the rage became overpowering, he walked. His mind blew through thoughts in rapid succession, too fast to lay claim to any one line of thought. His mind was a whirlwind of pain, caught up in a cyclone that wasn't dissipating anytime soon. He walked, his tears mixing with the rain, the sky dark with clouds, and the late hour. Even the moon was hiding tonight.

Eventually, he made it back home, soaking wet and weighed down with misery as his life fell apart. Slowly he made his way back to his apartment wondering if Kaiden would still be there. He was half right.

He opened the door and stopped dead, his heart leaping into his throat, eyes widened with shock at what he was seeing. "Kaiden! God, no!" He rushed inside, climbing on top of the couch as he pulled out his knife from his front right pocket. Lifting Kaiden's body weight in support, he cut the rope, Kaiden falling limply against his shoulder.

As gently as he could he laid him down, supporting his head. He was still warm to the touch. Removing the rope from around his neck, Mykel shakily felt for a pulse. He found none, whipped out his phone, and called 911. Setting it on speakerphone he began administering CPR. He didn't stop until the EMT's arrived, talking to Kaiden, begging him to come back to him.

The medical personnel announced him dead at the scene and began to gently place Kaiden in the body bag.

When he was alone he wandered into their bedroom. There sat the note centered on the bed. With shaking hands he read it, tears falling onto the page, slightly smudging the ink.

With shaking hands he folded the note and slid it into his wallet, and pulled out his phone once more. The phone rang twice before a sleepy voice came across the wire. "Lizzy?"

"Mykel? What's wrong?" Before he answered she was already getting up and getting dressed.

"He's gone, Liz. He-he's gone."

Liz stopped moving, one leg in her pants leg and the other one still bare. "What do you mean, he's gone?" But she already knew.

"Kaiden, he...he h-hanged himself. Liz, please come get me. I can't stay here."

"Oh, God..." She felt her throat close as tears warmed her eyes. "I'm on the way, baby, okay. I'm leaving right now."

"Hurry, Liz." And the line went dead. Liz made it to Mykel and Kaiden's apartment in record time, bursting through the front door. She paused slightly as she saw the noose lying on the floor before finding Mykel still sitting on the bed.

"Mykel." She dropped down onto her knees in front of him, her hands resting against his thighs. He looked up at her, his eyes and face bloodshot. He leaned forward into her, his head resting on her shoulder before he began to quake with the force of his sobs.

Three hours after he cut Kaiden down, Mykel walked into his sister's house, Liz toting his duffle bag in hand. Dropping it by the couch, she guided him into the kitchen and poured him a glass of water. His hands shook as he drank. "Mykel, what happened tonight?"

With tears born anew, he began telling her the events of the night once he'd arrived home. "I didn't know, Liz. I didn't know he'd do that. I didn't know. Please, Liz, believe me. I didn't know." She wrapped her arms around him as they cried together in her kitchen.

Mykel wiped his eyes, the letter still clutched in his hands. Gently he refolded it and set it back in the drawer. Grabbing his pillow he buried his face in it, his fears of reliving that moment with Mattie gripped his heart as well as his throat and he secretly sobbed for an old loss, and the fear of history repeating.

Slowly he stood, wiped his eyes, and went in search of his sister and lover. He hadn't heard any movement downstairs, and since Liz's car was still in the driveway, he made his way to the back door.

As he drew closer he heard them talking quietly and knew they were sitting on the porch swing. Not wanting to interrupt them, but glad to know Mattie was safe, made his way back upstairs. Stopping in front of Mattie's door, he slowly pushed it open. Missing Mattie more than he wanted to admit, he curled up on the bed, clutching his pillow to his chest, suddenly engulfed by Mattie's scent, and fell promptly to sleep, emotional exhaustion zapping every ounce of energy he had left.