Monday rolled around quicker than anyone in the house had liked. Makayla Jacobson rang the doorbell at exactly ten minutes before ten that morning. “I did a bit of looking around and I found some grade appropriate worksheets to do today. It’ll give me an idea for now on where he is,” she was explaining to Sy as she set up on the dining table. “I’m waiting on emails from his teachers…I was able to get a hold of them over the weekend…and they’re going to be sending me his grades up until he left and where they were in the curriculum at that time. Once I can get that information, I can get him what he needs on-line. I know of this great website where I can get everything on there for a moderate price.”

“That’s fantastic,” Sy said with a grin. “Just send me the receipts of everything you get and I’ll reimburse it. Thank you. Sam and I will both be in the office just there,” he pointed down the hall, “if you need anything. Don’t be afraid to knock.” Turning to Sammy, who was sitting quietly in his chair swinging his feet, he said, “I love you, kiddo.”

Sammy smiled at him. Over the weekend, Sammy had decided after a very serious talk with himself, that he was going to take this new schooling arrangement in stride. He knew that fighting it wouldn’t do him any good and rationalized that he just might like being homeschooled. “I love you too, Daddy.”

The first two hours into the lesson went smoothly. Makayla tested his reading skills and found that to be advanced for his age. With a smile, he told her, “I love reading. I’m really good at it. I saw a really awesome science article this morning about dinosaurs! Can I read that to you?”

With a chuckle, she told him that she would love to hear the article about dinosaurs, and found him to be quite articulate for a boy so young. She tested his memory, which also impressed her. She asked him about his favorite history subject, ancient gods and cultures, and he took off in an excited litany on the subject. 

However, she found that now, where he once flew through math problems several grades ahead of his age, he struggled with the subject for his own age group. “I can’t do it! I can’t do it anymore!” Frustrated to tears, Sammy threw his pencil down, trying not to give way to the anger he felt blooming in his chest at his own inabilities. 

Checking her watch, Makayla said, “It’s alright, Sammy. Why don’t we take a break, okay? We’ve been at this for a while now.”

Sammy nodded. “Okay.” Wiping his face, he took several deep breaths, letting his eyes slide closed as he did so. Makayla watched him carefully, once again impressed with this young man.

“Do you always take deep breaths to help calm yourself down?”

He nodded. “Daddy taught me to do that a long time ago.”

She smiled. Sammy found that he liked her smile. “That’s a good habit to have. Do you do anything else to help calm down?”

“Sometimes when I can, I listen to music. Or if I can’t listen to music, I sing to myself. Like that?”

“Exactly that. Do you do other things?” Makayla Jacobson had always known that she had wanted to be a teacher. But she knew, even from a young age, that working in a public or even private school setting wasn’t for her. Beginning her college career at fourteen, she went into child psychology and development, double majoring in teaching. She knew that she wanted to work with children that had brain injuries, or needed special, one-on-one attention. Receiving her PhD at the age of 22, she’d now been working in the field, after one year teaching at a special psychiatric ward for juveniles, for a year and a half.

“Like what?” Sammy questioned with a small, curious frown.

She smiled, happy to see that the boy had calmed down and appeared open to talking to her. She loved teaching with conversation. It was a favorite method of hers that she employed frequently. “Well,” she began, “one way is to name all the colors you see, out loud, wherever you might be. Your bedroom, outside, in the store…wherever you are. Or to name the shapes or objects that you can see. Sometimes people like to draw or write or even paint to calm down and regroup.” 

He nodded, taking the information in. “Those aren’t bad ideas. Sometimes breathing doesn’t help like I want it to and I can’t always sing or listen to music. Maybe I can do those things next time.” 

“Can you think of any other things that might help to cope with things?”

“Sometimes I talk to one of my daddies about things. Or my friend Liz. She’s my best friend. One of her daddies is my daddy’s best friend. My daddy Sy, I mean.”

“That is a really good way. Talking to someone you trust. Another is setting boundaries for yourself. Like knowing when you need to walk away or take a break from something, and not pushing yourself past your limits. Can I ask you a question?” Sammy nodded slightly, his face suddenly becoming apprehensive. “It’s okay. It’s nothing bad. Can you tell me what you were feeling when you threw the pencil?”

He looked away from her, his fingers suddenly becoming busy twirling around one another. The question made him anxious, she could tell, but she also could see him thinking about his answer. “A lot of things,” he began quietly. “Frustrated. I was always really good at math. I was doing algebra before the accident. And now I can’t even do third grade math. So that also made me feel really stupid. And then it made me really sad ‘cause I know I’m not stupid and I don’t like feeling that way.” He bit his lip as his eyes watered again.

Makayla patted his arm. “That’s an understandable way to feel. Do you think that if you get frustrated like that again tomorrow, you can use some of the methods that we talked about?” Sammy nodded, but did not verbalize his answer. “Can you do something else for me?”

Shrugging, he looked up at her. “Maybe. What do you want me to do?”

“Well, when you start to feel overwhelmed, or frustrated, what I want you to do is tell me. Set your pencil down–tell me you’re overwhelmed, or getting frustrated or whatever it is that you’re feeling when you start to feel it. And tell me that you need a break. Can you do that?”

Sammy wiped his eyes, dragging his arm across his face as he nodded. “I can try. But sometimes there isn’t a warning. What if that happens?”

“Sometimes the outburst is the warning. What we do when that happens is to stop things from escalating from there. Do you understand what I mean?”

“Yes. I understand.”

She smiled widely. “Good. Now, I’d say it’s time to call it a day. We can start fresh tomorrow.”

Frowning, Sammy looked at the clock that hung on the wall to his right. “Really? It’s not even 12:30 yet.”

Standing, she said, “Sometimes less is more. And sometimes it’s best going at things slowly, but steadily. I’ve got to talk to your dads about some stuff, but you, my little friend, are good to go. You did very well today, Sammy.”

“In that case, I’m gonna make a PB&J.” He smiled widely at her.

 Chuckling she said, “Do that. You earned it. You really did very well today, I want you to know that. And hey,” she knelt down to his level, “I also want you to know that, despite the math, you are not stupid, Sammy. You’re one of the smartest kids I’ve ever known. Don’t forget that.” She ruffled his hair, stood, and made her way to the door that Sy had previously gone through. 

When Sy heard Sammy’s frustration and crying, Sam had to talk him into not going out there. “She specifically asked us not to interfere. Sammy’s alright. Let her take care of it.”

Sy, who had stood and was reaching for the door, hesitated with Sam’s words. “It feels wrong to just leave him out there upset.” He looked at the door as if he could see through it. At that moment, he wished for x-ray vision. “I don’t like it.”

“I know. I don’t either. But he’s okay. Come sit back down, love.” Sy did as Sam said, but the frown remained. “She can handle it. It’s how it needs to happen.”

“That doesn’t mean I have to like it, though.”

“No. You don’t have to like it. But you do have to let it happen.” Sam watched him stare at his computer screen, his face the picture of frustration and worry.

He sighed heavily. “I don’t know what I was thinking when I told myself that I could concentrate on this today.” Sy shut the computer screen and rubbed his temples, feeling a headache coming on.

Sam smiled, stood, and came around behind his love, his hands massaging the tense muscles in his shoulders. Sy moaned as his head fell forward. “Relax, my love. Sammy’s fine.” His hands never stopping their ministrations, Sam kissed the top of Sy’s head. “Listen. They’re just talking now.” 

Sy nodded, but didn’t comment, concentrating on the feeling of knotted muscles coming loose. After a moment he said, “I know. And I know that I have to let him figure it out and relearn his independence. But that doesn’t make it any easier.”

“I know, babes.” Sam kissed the back of his neck, his lips tickling him as he spoke. Sam straightened when a knock came at the door. “It’s open.”

When the young woman entered the room, she came in smiling. “I just wanted to say that I think he’s had enough for today. He did great. Better than he thinks. He’s having trouble with math, which I understand he excelled at before the accident. This week I’m going to continue to find out where all he might be struggling and where his strengths remain. My plan is that by next week, I’ll have a solid lesson plan for next month. I have some ideas already that I’m going to get for next week. And I’ll make sure to send you the receipts like you wanted.”

“That sounds like a solid plan.” Sy stood then and extended his hand. “We really appreciate everything you’re doing. Thank you for everything.”

“It’s my pleasure. Sammy is a great kid. I think he’s going to be just fine.”

Her words made Sy feel better, and he smiled. “Same time tomorrow work for you?”

“I’ll be here.”

They all exited the room then, Sy and Sam seeing Makayla to the door. “Bye, Sammy. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He waved at her with enthusiasm. “Bye!”

“Did you have a good day at school?” Sy asked as he sat in the chair that Kayla had earlier vacated. He chuckled, looking at Sammy’s messy face. “You have jelly all over your face, child.” Sam handed him a warm, wet washcloth that he wiped Sammy’s face with. Sammy smiled at his father around the rag. 

“I had an okay day, Daddy. I got a bit upset at my math work. But Miss Makayla showed me ways to calm down and she made me feel better when I got upset.”

“Yeah?” Sammy nodded, his smile still lingering. “I’m glad that she helped you to feel better.”

“Me too. I like her, Daddy. She’s really nice.” Suddenly he made a face before looking back to Sy. “I’m sorry that I gave you a hard time about homeschooling me. I think I understand, though, why you told me I wasn’t ready to go back to regular school.”

Sy opened his arms and Sammy willingly went to him. Kissing his son’s temple, he said, “Don’t worry about that now, okay?” 

Sammy nodded. Looking him in the eye, Sammy said, “Daddy, can I ask you a question?”

“Of course, baby. You can ask me anything. You know that.”

He hesitated before plunging forward. “I’ve wanted to ask, but I didn’t want to upset you.”

“What did you want to ask me, Sammy?” The gentleness of his tone made Sammy gain the courage to poise the query. 

“Are you okay now since your trip to the bad place? Are you gonna be not so sad all the time now?”

Sy smiled to hide the tightening of his chest as he brushed hair out of Sammy’s eyes. “Yeah, baby boy. I’m happier now since coming back. And I’m definitely not sad all the time anymore like I used to be.”

Sammy smiled widely, his arms going lovingly around his father’s neck. “I’m really glad, Daddy.”

Long before the sun was due to rise and when the night was at its darkest point, Sam was roused from a deep slumber. By what he did not know. He took a moment to look around, attempting to gather his ineloquent and disorganized thoughts.

His attention was drawn down and to his right, where Sy lay sleeping beside him. His brow was furrowed and his lips drawn tight. “Sy. You’re okay,” he whispered to him, laying down close enough to touch him, but not doing so. “Sy,” he tried again to no avail. He was hesitant to touch him, or to wake him, hoping that he could calm him without having to do either. When Sy reached his fingers out toward Sam’s voice, he took the searching hand. Though even after this, Sy wasn’t waking up. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, hating to wake him up abruptly. Sam soon came to the realization that he had no other option in the matter.

Framing his face softly in his hands, he tried once more to wake him more gently than jolting him. “Sy, wake up.”

With a gasp and a hard jerk backward, Sy’s eyes, wide with fear, searched for a monster that wasn’t there. When his eyes fell on Sam’s face, recognition lit up the fear in his expression. “Sammy?”

“It’s me, baby. It’s me.” Sam drew his fingertips over Sy’s forehead and down his cheeks. Sy’s body lurched forward, seeking with a desperate need to feel safe, the force of the dream rocking him to his core. “It’s alright. I’ve got you. You’re safe, baby. You’re safe.”

As suddenly as he had thrown himself against his safety net, he jerked backward with the force of a lightning bolt. His eyes wide with a new terror that had abruptly replaced the fear that he’d woken with. “Sammy!” His voice was full of panic as he scrambled backward and out of the bed.

“Sammy?” Sam asked himself before jumping out of bed after his fiance. As Sam exited their bedroom, he caught sight of Sy’s back entering his son’s room. He followed closely behind. He found Sy standing at Sammy’s bedside, bent over at the waist, his face pressed into his palms, shoulders shaking.