Three days after Sammy returned home, he was already tired of having to rely on everyone else in the house to help him get around. He had crutches, but his father insisted on him calling him to help him. They had warned Sammy that there was a high chance of experiencing dizzy spells and a loss of balance, but he hadn’t experienced it too much yet. When he woke up that morning, his bladder was screaming for release and in his hurry, didn’t bother to call for either of his fathers or his aunt Shelly. Hoisting himself from the bed with the aid of his crutches, he gave himself a small yelp of triumph. He wanted nothing more than to have his independence back.

Becoming more and more sure of himself as he reached the hallway, Sammy made his way slowly toward the bathroom. It was right there. He could see it just two doors down from his. Just after he passed the half-way point, a stark wave of dizziness struck him and he began to totter. Unable to gain the correct balance on his crutches, he pitched over onto the floor, slamming his leg into the wall as he fell.

Sy was sitting at the dining table, his computer screen open in front of him, and part of a design that he couldn’t focus on screamed at him to be finished. He wasn’t sure why he took on this project. He couldn’t focus on anything but recent events, and none of it circled around work. His head snapped hard to the left as suddenly a scraping/crashing sound echoed from the hallway, followed by a scream filled with so much pain that it had Sy jumping up before he knew he had moved. 

Coming around the corner, he rushed over to his son, who was screaming and holding his leg, and moved one of the crutches that had fallen on him as he fell. Sy lifted him into his arms, his son holding tight as he continued to scream in immense pain. As Sy adjusted Sammy into his arms, Sam burst through the bedroom door, having been just shaving and getting ready for the day, his eyes wide with panic. “Baby, what happened?” Sy asked after he’d gotten Sammy a bit calmer. “Why didn’t you call for me, my love?”

“I fell!” Sammy screamed, his face red and wet with tears. “I really had to pee and I didn’t think about it…I just wanted to go to the bathroom and I got dizzy and fell. I hit my leg on the wall and my crutch fell on top of it. It really hurts, Daddy! It hurts!”

Sam, who had been kneeling next to them both on the couch, wiped away Sammy’s tears and kissed his head. Looking at Sy, he said, “I’ll call Dr. Henry and see what he suggests.” Sy nodded as he rocked Sammy, petting his silky hair and rubbing his back; doing whatever he could to try and settle him through the pain. Sammy’s wails had quieted to muted sobs as he clung to his father. Sam ran his fingers through Sammy’s hair once he’d gotten off the phone. To Sy, he said, “Dr. Henry says to bring him in and he’ll meet us there. He wants to do some x-rays and make sure that nothing is displaced or damaged further.”

“Well,” Dr. Henry said as he walked into their room where the three of them waited for the x-ray results. “It doesn’t look like anything was damaged. The rods are still where they’re supposed to be. And despite the fall today, he’s healing nicely. Sammy,” he said, turning his attention to the boy. “Are you sure that you didn’t hit your head when you fell? It’s important that I know.”

“I didn’t hit my head. Just my leg. I would tell you if I had.” Sammy briefly made eye contact before looking away again. He turned further in Sam’s arms, resting his head against his chest and closed his eyes.

“Dr. Henry, I was wondering…to prevent his falling like this…is there somewhere we can get a wheelchair that will fit him?” As Sy asked the question, Sam felt the boy tense in his arms and Sam tightened his hold on him in response. He began to rock as he could feel Sammy getting upset, kissing his temple and whispering sweetly in his ear.

“Yes, actually. You know the smaller building that’s attached to this one on the east side of the building?” At Sy’s nod, he went on. “If you go in there, that is the medical supply building. They should have what you’re looking for.”

Sy nodded, stood, and shook Dr. Henry’s hand. “Thank you, Dr. Henry. We appreciate you coming out to look at him personally.”

Dr. Henry smiled. “Well, I’m rather invested in this little guy. He gave us quite the scare on the table. I want to see his recovery all the way through.”

Less than an hour later, Sam was sticking the new, child sized wheelchair into the trunk of the car. From the moment Sy brought up the chair, Sammy had alternated between heartbreaking tears to outright anger. It was an anger that Sy had never seen from his son, and he wondered if this was partly a side-effect of the brain injury they had been warned about. He knew that his son was upset about having to use a wheelchair, even if temporarily, but this was far beyond any normal amount of anger he’d ever seen coming from Sammy.

As Sy got him settled into the car seat and buckled in, Sammy crossed his arms over his chest with a surly look on his normally bright and cheery face. “Aw, Sammy, baby. It’s only temporary. And it’s only so you don’t fall again. Once you get going in physical therapy, you’ll need the chair less and less.”

Sammy didn’t respond, but Sy didn’t miss the quivering of his little chin as he tried to keep his tears at bay. Sy didn’t take his silence personally, knowing that the boy was dealing with much more internally than he could fully comprehend. And Sy knew that while he himself had to come to terms with the side effects, also he, as an adult, at least could fully comprehend what was happening. Sammy, with as intelligent as he was, was still a little boy. A little boy who could not understand the title waves of emotions flooding through him, or why they were so overwhelming.

When Sam got behind the wheel of the car, he cast a look to his right over at Sy, who in turn gave him a tired and sad lopsided smile. Before starting the car, Sam gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile, and kissed Sy’s knuckles.

As he drove the winding streets back home, Sam’s mind was in overdrive. His eyes darted from the road to Sy to Sammy in the back seat and back again. Reaching back behind him, Sam gently patted Sammy’s leg, offering what comfort he could from where he was positioned. Before he pulled his hand back, he felt wet little fingers squeeze his and couldn’t help but smile. Bringing his arm back around, Sam took Sy’s hand in his own, lacing their fingers together and keeping a strong hold. 

Sam knew by Sy’s grip that he was trying to hold everything in, to be the strong parent that Sammy needed right then, and could only hope that his hand could help keep him grounded. Regardless of what was happening between them, no matter what had been said or would be said later, Sam loved the man to his right more than his next breath. And he knew, that within that knowledge and no matter how much that day hurt on so many levels…that not only was he not going anywhere, but that he would do everything in his power to bridge this wedge that was shoved between them that day.

When they got home, Sam opened the front door to allow Sy, who was carrying Sammy, inside the house before turning back and getting the chair from the trunk. He stopped just outside Sammy’s room, having the intention of setting it up next to his bed, and just stared at the small chair he was pushing in front of him. Closing his eyes, Sam swallowed back the flood of emotion that suddenly filled him. All the pain and fear that he’d been pushing back these last weeks were finally catching up to him. Sam willed it all away, grateful that Sammy was alive and that there still seemed to be a ray of hope left to have everything he ever wanted.

Gathering himself under control, Sam entered the room as a soft smile splayed his lips when his and Sammy’s eyes met. “Now,” Sam said as he knelt down, “I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but if you think about it, this gives you a bit more freedom than the crutches did. It just depends on your perspective, Sammy boy.”

“How does it do that, Daddy? I won’t be able to do anything.” 

The look on Sammy’s face broke Sam’s heart and as he looked at Sy, he knew that Sy was hurting just as badly for his son. “Well, you won’t have to call for us to walk with you. Once you learn how to maneuver with the chair, how to get in and out of it…you won’t need our help at all. You can get up, go to the bathroom, get a drink or snack from the fridge or go into the living room to watch TV…all without any of the three of us hovering over you in case you fall. Isn’t that a little better than having to call us all the time?”

Sammy seemed to think about what he’d just been told very carefully before he slowly nodded. “I guess so.” Slowly he brought his eyes back up to Sam’s. They began to water as Sammy brokenly said, “And it’s not forever, right? I won’t have to be in it forever? I’ll be able to walk again, right, Daddy?”

Both of them hugged the boy, drawing their arms around him and each other to form a sort-of protective barrier around their son. “That’s right, sweet baby,” Sy answered. “It’s not forever. Just until you’re healed enough that you can put weight on your leg and don’t have so many balancing issues. It’ll all be okay in time, my love.”

Sammy nodded as he leaned further into Sy. “Daddy, will you stay with me until I fall asleep?”

“You’re not hungry, baby?” 

Sammy shook his head. “No. Just sleepy. And my head hurts. And I’m really sad and I don’t know why and I just want you to hold me, Daddy.”

“Alright. Alright,” Sy said, kissing the top of Sammy’s head. “I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep, my love.”

Standing, Sam leaned over and kissed them both before pulling the covers over them. Sam smiled at the picture the two of them made. “I love you both. Sweet dreams,” he whispered as a slow smile crept across his face.

As Sam exited the bedroom, he sighed deeply and made his way out onto the back porch. The trip to the hospital and home had taken hours and as Sam noticed the many shadows along the ground, knew that the day had completely gotten away from him. It was nearing late afternoon and any chance of getting any real work done was shot. Sitting down on the steps leading from the porch to the backyard, Sam leaned against a post that helped make up the railing and watched the shadows as they continued to grow.