It was a few days later and things seemed to be settling back down into their normal routine. Sy came from their bedroom, straight from the shower, to a wonderful sight. Leaning against the wall he laughed to himself as Sam was on all fours, Sammy on his back, his laughter permeating the room, as Sam bucked like a bull at the rodeo. Sammy’s legs flailed up and down, his body rocking back and forth, his head thrown backward, his giggles unhindered and infectious. 

In one swift move, Sam spun the boy around, his little legs still anchored around Sam’s waist, his back now gently placed to the carpet. Sam wriggled his way downward, pulling up Sammy’s shirt and blowing a great raspberry along his belly. Sammy’s laughter escalated, the high pitched sounds showing Sy just how happy the boy was. Sam’s fingers walked themselves up Sammy’s ribs, tickling the boy furiously. Sammy flailed, failing to escape as both his movements and Sam’s roiling fingers against his ribcage prevented his ability to get up. 

Eventually, Sam stopped, allowing the boy to catch his breath. Neither he nor Sammy had noticed Sy’s presence, and Sy didn’t inform them, taking in this moment between them and reflecting on the happiness that this domestic scene evoked within him. “Daddy! Daddy!” Sammy’s giggling call brought him from his thoughts and his smile widened. Sammy was reaching for him, his grin splitting ear to ear. “Daddy, help me!” Sammy laughed harder as Sy pretended to run in slow motion, charging in an over exaggerated way toward Sam. Sam, catching on to the game, also pretended to be thrown off the boy in a similar slow-mo fashion. Sammy scrambled up to his feet, his smile seemingly everlasting. 

“Go, Sammy! Run!” Sy, still in his slowed down act, elongated his words, holding Sam down on his back by his forearms. Sam and Sy shared a sweet smile, the moment intimate, before Sammy ran and jumped on top of Sy’s back, throwing his arm up in the air triumphantly. 

“I’m the king of the mountain!” he shouted before dropping down and hugging Sy. He snuggled into his father’s neck, his smile slipping to a contented grin. “I love you, Daddy.”

Sy smiled and patted his arms, which were circled loosely around his neck, a smile present upon his own face. “I love you, too, kiddo.” When Sammy climbed down, Sy leaned back on his heels as Sam sat up, his arms locking around his pulled up knees. 

“Daddy, I’m hungry,” Sammy said looking at Sy, his chest still rapidly moving as he attempted to catch his breath.

Sy stood and tousled his hair. “Alight. I’ll go find us something for dinner. You hungry, too?” Sam smiled and nodded, the two of them sharing another smile before Sy headed toward the kitchen. When he was out of sight, Sammy took residence in Sam’s lap, who wrapped his arms lovingly around the small form in front of him, pressing his cheek with a kiss. 

“Daddy?” Sammy asked quietly without looking up. 

“Hm?” Sam was gently rocking the boy, enjoying this paternal feeling spreading through him. He kissed the side of the boy’s head.

“I’m glad you’re here. Things are better with you here. Daddy is happier. Even when he’s sad, he’s happier. I’m happier ‘cause now I have two daddies and Shelly to love me. I love you, and I hope you never leave us.”

Sam smiled, Sammy’s words meaning the world to him. Trying to not show how choked up he was at the boy’s honesty, Sam replied, “I love you too. So, so much.” He squeezed a bit tighter to accentuate his point. “And I’m not going anywhere, Sammy. I’m here for the long haul.”

Sammy smiled and snuggled further into Sam’s chest, the lull of Sam’s heartbeat against his ear making him grow tired. Combined with Sam’s rocking, he was losing the battle. It had been a long day full of laughter and spent energy, and Sammy was worn out. “Promise?”

“I promise, little one,” Sam whispered, more than moved by the child growing heavier in his arms. 

Sy, busy making dinner, was distracted by the chiming of his phone. He was in the middle of browning hamburger meat for sloppy joes when an unfamiliar number with a text message attached to it drew his attention away from the task at hand. With a curious frown, Sy picked up his phone and opened the message. He suddenly felt dizzy as he read it.

Hey. It’s Jenny. I figured that you might need some time before I messaged you to come to terms with running into me and Mom at the fair. But I’ve been really anxious to talk to you. To know you. And I never thought that I would have that chance. I remember enough of you from when I was little to know that I loved my big brother. And, if you want that too…I’m really hoping that we can have that. You got ripped away from me. Like Sam got ripped away from you. Mom used to tell me stories of you both and I have a picture of the three of us that I keep with me. And I would really like to have you back. And to get to know my nephew. I understand if you don’t want to or can’t talk to Mom right now…I think that she does too…but will you still talk to me?

Sy read the message over and over again before setting his phone down as gently as if it were a bomb, before mixing in the sauce for dinner. 

“Is dinner ready, Daddy?”

Sy smiled, not letting his son see anything was amiss as he re-entered the living room. Sam, however, noted the slight changes in his body language. “Yep,” Sy answered Sammy. “Your plate is at the table and waiting for you, young sir.” As he smiled at the boy, Sy handed Sam his phone, which was still open to his sister’s message. Sam read it silently before handing it back over to Sy.

Sam stood, his hand going to Sy’s bicep to stop him from walking away. “Are you okay?” Sy shrugged with a slight shake of his head. “Are you going to answer?”

Sy looked at him, his eyes heavy. “I think so. Yeah. It’s not her fault what happened. I’d like to have a relationship with her. It just…brings up so much…”

Sam squeezed his arm with a smile that reflected his empathy and his love. “I’m here for whatever you need me for. Remember that.”

“I know,” was the whispered reply. Sy sent him a matching smile and together they made their way over to the table to join Sammy for dinner. 

As they ate, they kept light discussion going among the three of them. Sam laughed heartily when he saw that Sammy’s face and hands were covered in sloppy joe sauce. “Look at you!” Sam said laughing. “You’re a mess.”

Sammy laughed, wiggling his fingers in Sam’s direction. “But it’s really good.”

When they each had had their fill, Sam stood with a look to Sammy, who was licking his little fingers clean with a happy grin. “Come on, kid. Let’s clean you up and get you in the bath and ready for bed. It’s been a long day.”

Sammy stood, careful not to touch anything and carefully made his way to the kitchen sink. Sam turned on the faucet and squirted a bit of soap into Sammy’s hands. He giggled at the soap bubbles forming as he washed. “All clean, Daddy,” he announced, showing Sam his hands. 

Sam smiled. “Well, your hands are anyway. Come on, let’s go get your bath ready.” Sam followed behind a sleepy-hyper child chuckling to himself and shaking his head. As he passed, he lightly dragged his hand across Sy’s back in a small show of support accompanied with a soft smile.

As sounds of running bath water, a giggling boy, and an equally giggling Sam echoed from the bathroom, Sy reread the message Jenny had sent, wondering what exactly would be in store if he opened this door. He wanted to know his sister. He wanted Sammy to know his aunt. As he stared at the screen, he felt Sam wrap his arms around him from behind, his arms resting along his shoulders, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “You’ll be alright, my sweet. No matter what happens, or what you decide to do, I will always be in your corner.”

Sy smiled, breathing a sigh of relief, leaning back and resting his head on Sam’s shoulder. “Thank you. I love you, Sammy.” Sitting back up, Sy looked back at his phone. With a nervous breath he said, “I’m gonna answer. I want to answer. I just…don’t know what to say.”

“Speak from your heart. I’m gonna go check on Sammy.” Sy smiled to himself as he watched Sam head toward the bathroom. He was overly anxious whenever Sammy was in the bathtub, never leaving him long without making sure he hadn’t drowned. It was something that Sy found endearing, and not something that he didn’t do himself. Sighing he brought up the keyboard and began typing his reply.

Jenny sat alone in her room, a book open in her lap, with Tycho playing softly in the background. She found the ambiance of their music soothing, especially when her anxiety was up. Like now. She’d been staring at page 134 in the book, not seeing the words whatsoever. She thought that reading would help her pass the time until Sy responded, but it had been over an hour now and she wondered if he was going to reply at all. 

She’d made the decision that she wouldn’t be too disappointed if he didn’t, and she wouldn’t be angry with him if he chose not to. But as it stood, she felt a deep sadness at the prospect of not hearing from him. She’d waited so long for him. She’d spent a lifetime dreaming about her big brother. Reaching down to the floor next to her bed, she grabbed her small bag that she carried with her, and from within a safe pocket she had sewn into the inside, she pulled out the picture she carried of her, Sy, and Sam when she was not quite two. It was the only picture she had of him, and it meant the world to her. 

She didn’t remember much of their father, and from what her mother had told her about him, she knew she wasn’t missing out. But she was missing out on having a brother, and that left her with an empty feeling that could never be filled.

When she saw him at the fair, she knew immediately who he was. She saw him before their mom did, and it was she who pointed him out. She remembered her mother’s face, pale and drawn and nervous before she had gained the courage to walk up to him.

“...Jenny, are you even listening to me?” her mother asked when Jenny hadn’t responded to what she’d said. “Who are you looking at?” She searched the crowd, but didn’t see anyone they knew. 

“It’s Sy…” She pointed. “Mom, look over there. It’s Sy!” She was suddenly filled with excitement, ready to run straight for him. She turned to her mother, “We have to go talk to him, Mom.”

“Holy Mary Mother of God,” she whispered to herself as her eyes landed on her only son, who was in the company of a boy that was clearly her grandson, and Sam. She smiled to herself, happy that they’d once again found each other. She hesitated for a moment before straightening her spine and walked toward him.

“Sy?” Jenny remembered the sound of her voice when she said his name. Strong in sound, but weak in delivery. She heard the tremors present in her voice. She recalled how Sy stiffened, knowing at once who the voice belonged to. 

“Mom?” His face was one of shock, anger, sadness…but when he saw her, his eyes lit up.  “Jenny?” There was no way for her to describe the feelings that soared through her when he said her name. So many times over the years she wondered if he would even know her if he saw her out somewhere. Nodding she stepped forward, wanting so badly to wrap her arms around him. And when he reached out, she didn’t want to take the chance of missing this opportunity. She held him close, memorizing how he felt in this embrace. How she felt as she hugged him for the first time since she was two. She felt her eyes sting as he held her just as strongly as she was holding him.

“I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too,” he told her gently, his voice catching slightly.  When she stepped back he looked back to the woman who had raised him. Her face had aged, her hair graying. Jenny wondered what was going through his mind as he stared at their mother. She wondered what her mother was thinking about finding him here like this.

 “How have you been, son?” She said this like she knew not what else to say. She looked like she regretted the question immediately. 

“How have I been? Do you mean since Dad forced me to go to that horrible place, or since you left me at that hospital?” Suddenly Jenny felt the tension between her brother and mother spike, her heart hurting for them both. There was so much that she didn’t know about what happened back then. So much that her mother wouldn’t tell her about that time period.

Jenny knew that this question hurt the older woman, but she could see the pain all across Sy’s face as well from her abandonment. Instead of answering she looked down at the boy standing next to his father. “Is this…?” Jenny remained silent, her eyes floating down to the boy. To her nephew. She smiled to herself. She had a nephew. 

Sy looked down at the child who was looking upon his grandmother and aunt for the first time. “Your grandson? Yes.”

She smiled sadly as she looked at him. “What’s your name?”

“Sammy.” His voice was soft, though loud enough to be heard over the music playing from large speakers placed strategically around the grounds. 

“Hi, Sammy.” The boy waved but didn’t further speak, taking everything in as it unfolded. It was then she looked behind Sy and locked eyes with the boy who she used to change his diapers when she babysat. “Hello, Sammy.” Sam didn’t answer, his attention staying on Sy, trying to gauge his reactions. She looked back to Sy, her eyes full of many things. “I’m sorry, Sy. You don’t know what happened back then. I know you likely will never believe me or want to hear me out, but I am sorry. I never wanted to allow your father to send you away.”

“Yes, well…you did. And he did. And then you left me there. You left me even as I screamed for you to come back. You. Left. Me. Why should I give you a chance to explain yourself? What difference would it make?” She wanted to hug him again. She knew that this meeting was about over. When he looked at her, she hoped that he wouldn’t tell her he couldn’t see her again. Her heart broke at the prospect. “Jenny…you’re welcome in my life if you want to be in it. I would love to get to know my little sister.” The relief that ran through her was incomparable to anything that she’d known previous. 

She took out her phone immediately, knowing that she wouldn’t have much more time right now before he walked away. “What’s your phone number? I can text you.”

  She handed over the device when he reached for it gladly, seeming to know that he was unable to properly speak for the moment, and watched him type in his number, and took it when he handed back her phone. “Call or text me any time.” He looked to his mother, “I need time, okay.”

She nodded. “Okay. Sy,” she called as he turned to go. Jenny wondered for a moment if he was going to turn back to hear what she had to say, or keep going. She was glad that he turned back around. She thought that if he turned around that maybe…maybe eventually they could all become a family again. “Your father…he died a year after you were in the hospital. I’m not telling you because you care about him…I just…if you decide to call…he won’t be there. I didn’t want it to be a deterrent. I always kept the house number the same in case…in case you ever decided to call.” He began to turn away and he paused only slightly as she said, “I’m sorry, son.”

They stood there and watched them walk away until they were lost in the crowd before they, too, turned to exit. The fun filled night they had planned, now lost. She remembered how her mother cried that night once she thought that Jenny was asleep. How she begged forgiveness and apologized to an empty room.

Jenny had forced herself to wait to contact him, not wanting to seem like she was pressuring him. She didn’t want to make him tell her to leave him alone. And, as she told him, thought that he might need some time to recover from the shock of them suddenly reappearing into his life.

She was brought to the present, her eyes shifting automatically as her phone lit up, indicating that she had a text message. Nervousness flowed through her bloodstream, energizing her like she had just done a line of cocaine. Holding her breath she opened and read the message.

Sy: Thank you for giving me that time. It’s appreciated and I believe needed. I never expected to see you again and I can’t tell you how happy I am to have the chance to be in your life. I’ve missed you so much. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me also that you remembered me…that you carry a picture of us…I’ve thought about you much over the years. Maybe we can arrange for you to come over one Saturday or something. Sammy has asked a couple times about you. He’s excited to meet you.

Jenny smiled at the screen, her eyes watering as she laughed, happiness at this invitation. Rapidly she began to type:

Jenny: I’m really excited to meet him, as well. And to really meet you. I can see if Mom would mind maybe taking me to your house this weekend? Or, I could try and find a bus, or something.”

She awaited anxiously for his next reply, wondering if this weekend would be too soon. She didn’t have to wait long.

Sy: This weekend sounds great. Don’t take the bus. Ask about the ride. If it’s too much for her to do it, I'll come and pick you up.

Sam glanced at Sy’s phone as Sy’s heavy exhalation and pinched face drew his attention. “Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

Shelly, who was just entering the living room from the kitchen said, “Okay with what?”

Sy glanced up at her, “I told Jenny that if…our mom…couldn’t bring her out here, that I would come and pick her up. As opposed to her taking the bus out here.”

Shelly frowned, suddenly worried about the consequences of going back to that house. Or of his mother’s presence back in his life. While true she had never met the woman, she couldn’t help but feel a biased hatred for her regardless for what she’d done to her best friend. “Sam’s got a point. Are you sure you’re okay going back there? Or having her come here, for that matter. Your mom, I mean.” Shelly sat in the recliner, turning it to face Sy and Sam, who were seated on the sofa. Sammy had been put to bed not quite an hour ago and all was quiet from his bedroom.

Sy looked between them both, the worry and grief he was feeling prominent on his face. “No,” he answered with a humorless laugh. “I have no desire to go back there. I…” he paused, pursing his lips. He could feel his emotions beginning to well and he didn’t want to get overly upset tonight. “I want to know my sister. None of this was her fault. She was just as much a victim of my father as I was. Hopefully not in the same ways, given she was around four when he died, but…” 

He paused and looked at them again before speaking. “I’m so conflicted. Not about Jenny, but…I mean, Sammy asks about his family he doesn’t know. He’s asked about his grandmother and aunt before. He’s asked about my father. He’s asked about the two of them a few times since we saw them at the fair. He has a right to know his grandmother, doesn’t he? And what did she mean I didn’t understand everything? It doesn’t change what happened, but I’ve always had so many questions as to why…maybe she has the answers. Maybe we can get some kind of a semblance of a family back.” His eyes watered and he lowered his head shaking it, his voice cracking as he said, “Maybe I can finally understand what I could never figure out.” Taking a deep breath, he looked at each of them. “This isn’t going to be easy by any means. And I’m gonna need you both through this. But I think, no matter how much it may fucking hurt me…I need to know why she left me there. And I want to have a relationship with Jenny. And if this is the way to do that…then that’s what I’m going to do.”

Shelly looked at him with a soft smile. “You’ve always got us, Sy. For whatever you need us for. You know that.”

Sy smiled. “I do. Thank you. I love you both.”