They walked on in silence, both trying to come to grips with what was happening. Coming to a bench near the front of the school, they sat down. Sy simply tried breathing evenly as his mind spun. 

Casey looked at his old friend and saw everything he was thinking on his face. “I guess you have a lot of questions for me, don’t you?”

Sy folded his hands together, bracing his elbows on his knees. “I don’t know…I think I’m too much in shock right now to think clearly.” Sy blinked, looking to his left. “He told me you died. He…blamed me…he told me that, because of what we did that night, that I killed you. He took every chance to call me ‘killer’ or ‘murderer’ after that.”

Sy felt Casey shudder next to him. “Fucking Jesus,” he whispered. “They told me that someone found me, wrapped my arms up, and gave me CPR until the paramedics got there. And that’s what saved me. I had a very weak pulse when I got to the hospital, but I had a pulse. It was you, wasn’t it? You found me.”

Sy nodded and wiped at his eyes, not wanting to fucking cry right now. “Yeah. Yeah, that was me.” He looked at the man sitting next to him and through the tears, Sy smiled, wanting to hug him again.

Casey must have read this need across his expression, as he pulled Sy tightly into him. “Thank you,” he whispered in a choked voice. When they pulled back, Casey smiled a watery smile at him, tried to speak, cleared his throat and tried again. “There’s so much that I’ve wanted to tell you over the years. I never knew your last name, so I couldn’t look you up anywhere. But I thought about you so much over the years.” He took a deep breath and slowly let it out. “Despite what happened to get me out of there…you were my best friend through that whole ordeal. You kept me going in there. Without you, I would have done what I did much sooner. I owe you my life. In more than one way. And I can never repay you for that.”

Sy grinned at him. “Likewise. You became really important to me. It’s so good to see you.”

Casey smiled widely with a low laugh. “It’s really fucking good to see you too, Sy. I’m sorry they blamed you…what they did in there wasn’t right. Any of it. But know now that you saved me. I was able to go on after that place. I was able to meet a wonderful man and adopt a wonderful baby girl. And I’m happy. Really, actually happy. Happier than I ever thought I had a right to be.”

“I’m glad. Does it…I mean…” Sy frowned and looked away, trying to figure out how to word what he wanted to say. “I’ve never really left that place. I’ve only just started to even try within the past six months, since Sammy found me. But…I never…that place haunts me. You left that place, but…did you ever escape it?”

“It took me a long time. It wasn’t until I met Dex that I really allowed myself to begin to heal from that. It held me for a long time afterward. I avoided people. I avoided myself. But after I met him…I realized that it was okay to be who I was. That it was okay to love whomever I wanted to love.” 

Sy smiled. “I’m glad that you did. You’re happy?”

Casey nodded, his smile staying in place. “I am. I still have my bad days. I still wake up sometimes in cold sweats and tears…but…Dex…he really helps me. He…he’s amazing. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without him. I…was really messed up when we met.”

“How did you meet?”

Casey smiled with a look of absolute pure love about him. “A support group. A friend of mine suggested that I try a trauma support group that meets on Monday and Thursday evenings. It took me a while to work up the courage to go. In the end, she completely tricked me into going. She went with me to each one until I was strong enough to go on my own. He taught me that it was okay to love. Myself. Him. It’s been rough sometimes, especially in the beginning…but, it’s worth it, Sy.”

Sy let out a shaky breath. “I hope it is.”

“Do you love him?” Casey asked with a serious expression.

“I’ve loved him all my life,” he replied wistfully.

Casey looked at him with a soft smile. “Then it’s worth it, Sy. So, that’s the same Sammy you spoke about back then?” 

Sy nodded his head thoughtfully. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Does it still scare you?” His voice dropped to a whisper and he looked down to his steepled fingers. “What they taught us. Does it still scare you?”

Casey studied him a moment before answering, as if contemplating on if he should tell the whole truth or just part of it. He decided on the whole truth. “Yes. Sometimes on those bad days I feel like the other shoe is about to drop and it’s all going to be taken away from me. But it’s less and less as time goes on. I don’t think that it’ll ever go away entirely…but what they did doesn’t rule my life anymore.”

Sam watched the kids run back toward him, happy and bright smiles on both of their faces, as the hayride ended. They each had small bags of candy, decorated with skeletons holding Jack-o-lanterns. “Did you two have fun?” Sam asked with a chuckle.

“Yep!” Sammy said happily. “Look what we got, Daddy.”

Sam smiled. “I see that. You two made out pretty well there, didn’t you?”

The kids nodded happily and Sammy asked, “Daddy, can you help me take this off? I’m really hot.” Turning to Lizzy as Sam unzipped his costume said to her, “Did you know that Jack-o-lanterns were actually lights attached to a long pole so people could see further ahead of them in the dark? They’re called Jack-o-lanterns because a common name for ‘man’ is Jack, so it literally means man lanterns.” He shook off the costume, the material spilling at his feet. 

Lizzy giggled. He’d been telling her things like this all afternoon and she found it endearing. “I didn’t know that, but that’s really cool.” 

Sammy smiled at her and Sam could see that he was completely smitten by the little girl. He looked around for his father and when he didn’t see him, asked Sam, “Where’d Daddy go?”

Sam shook his head. “Well, it turns out that he and Lizzy’s daddy knew each other from a long, long time ago. So, they went for a walk so that they can talk for a while away from all the people. But it’s okay. He’ll be back in a bit, don’t worry.” Sammy frowned, knowing that ‘a long time ago’ was the bad part of his daddy’s life. The part that made him so sad all the time. His expression became worried, remembering what happened so recently. “Sammy,” Sam said gently, pulling the boy between his knees, his hands resting along the child’s rib cage. “He’s okay, kiddo. I promise. Don’t worry so much, okay?” Sammy looked down and nodded and Sam could see he was becoming upset. “Hey, hey, kiddo. It’s alright.”

Lizzy watched as Sam pulled her friend into his lap, his face disappearing into Sam’s chest. Not wanting to intrude, she looked around, spotting her papa coming toward her. “My papa is coming. I’ll see you later, Sammy.” She didn’t wait for an answer and ran off in the direction she pointed in. 

When she was gone, Sam pushed the boy back to see his face. With gentle hands he thumbed away the few tears that were sliding down his cheek. “What’s this all about, huh?” Sammy shrugged, sniffling. “What’s going on, Sammy?”

“Just…I know that when you say that, I know that it means back when Daddy was really sad all the time and the bad stuff was happening and…I…I’m scared.”

Sam frowned, confused. “When I say what, baby? And what are you scared of?”

“‘A long time ago’. That’s what you always say when you’re talking about back then. And I’m scared ‘cause…well…I don’t want Daddy to…the last time…” he paused, frustrated with not being able to properly articulate what he was feeling. “I don’t want him to forget about me again.”

Sam, a bit heartbroken by Sammy’s words, pulled him back to his chest and hugged him tightly, rocking slightly. “Sammy boy, your daddy didn’t forget about you. He…” he sighed, not knowing how to explain it. “He was…” he sighed again, frowning, not knowing how he could put this. “He was in a very dark place and he…couldn’t find his way out of it. It’s not something that I can really explain so that you’ll understand, baby boy. Honestly, I don’t really understand it either. I’m just having to pick things up as I go. But there is one thing that I can promise you.”

Sammy wiped his face and sniffled. “What?”

“That your father loves you. No matter where his mind may be, or how sad he is at any given time…he loves you. And nothing will ever change that.”

Sammy nodded slightly, considering what he was being told. “Daddy…”

“What’s up, kiddo?”

Sammy looked up at him, squinting against the sun that was shining in his eyes on its descent. “I’m really glad you found me that day. I love you.” Leaning in, Sammy rested his head tiredly against Sam’s chest. 

Sam kissed the top of his head and squeezed him slightly. “I’m really very glad that I found you that day too, kiddo. I love you, Sammy.”

The two of them sat there for some time longer, the sun continuing to make its way further under the treeline. And it was in that same position that Sy found them as he and Casey made their way back. Sam glanced to his left as they approached and smiled as Sy dropped a kiss to his head. “Hey there. I was starting to wonder when you’d make your way back.” Sam’s eyes flickered over to the man standing to Sy’s left and nodded.

Sy smiled slightly. “There’s a lot to catch up on.” He turned to Casey. “Casey, this is Sammy.”

Casey stuck his hand out to shake with a smile on his face. “It’s really great to finally meet you, Sammy. Sy here always spoke very highly of you.”

Sam shook his hand with a smile. “Sam,” he corrected, as he liked to keep the nickname in reserve for only a certain, chosen few. “And I can very much say the same thing. Sy only ever had good things to say about you.”

Casey smiled almost shyly and looked at the child still curled up in Sam’s lap. “And who is this little man?” 

Sammy didn’t respond to him, suddenly shy, burrowing himself further into Sam. When he didn’t respond himself, Sy said, “My son. Sammy.” Sam frowned slightly, but didn’t say anything, pulling Sammy a bit closer to him as a feeling that didn’t sit well within his gut began to rapidly form and spread through him. Setting his chin on Sammy’s head, he rocked to and fro. As he felt Sammy begin to relax against him, he, too, felt calmer. The small banter between Sy and Casey faded into the background as Sam’s thoughts became suddenly all consuming.

Brought out of his thoughts by a gentle hand to his shoulder, Sam looked up. “You ready to get going? I think he’s about tuckered out.” Sy smiled as he watched Sammy fall asleep in Sam’s arms.

“Yeah, I should probably find Dex and Lizzy. I’m sure she’s likely just as tired.” Casey smiled and said to Sam, “It was really nice to finally meet you.”

Sam nodded. “It was nice to meet you, as well,” Sam said genuinely. 

Looking back at Sy, Casey smiled and pulled Sy into a long hug. “I’m glad that we ran into each other.” He pulled back and dropped his arms, still smiling. “I hope that we can make a regular thing out of it?” He said it as a question, unsure if the suggestion would be well received. 

Sy smiled widely, vigorously nodding. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. I…I’m glad that you made it, Casey.”

Casey smiled in return, nodding. “I’m glad that you made it, too. I’ve got your number. Maybe we can get together this weekend? We can have a BBQ or something.”

“Sounds like a great time,” Sy agreed.

“Great. I’ll talk to you soon, then. See ya later, Sam.” Sam nodded and waved, not wanting to scare Sammy while he slept against his chest. “Take it easy, Sy.”

When he walked away, Sy took his seat next to Sam, his legs suddenly feeling very wobbly. “I can’t believe that he’s alive. Negal lied to me about it. He told me that he didn’t make it.”

Bracing Sammy’s weight with one arm, Sam wrapped his other arm around the man next to him, kissing him softly. “He lied to you about everything, Sy. Why would that be different? It was another form of control. Another way to break you down. That’s all.”

Sy scoffed lightly. “‘That’s all’,” he repeated.

Sam realized how that sounded and cursed his carelessness. “That’s not me invalidating what he did, how terrible it was, or even minimizing it to any degree. I just meant that what he told you and what he did was for a methodical reasoning built on hatred, fear, and lies.”

Sy nodded, taking in what he was being told. “I want to believe that. I try really hard to believe that.”

“Sy, do you trust me?”

Sy looked at him, frowning. “You know I do.”

“Do you know that I wouldn’t lie to you? Or tell you something for the sake of manipulating you?”

Sy’s confusion increased as he turned slightly to better face Sam. “Of course.”

“Then trust me when I tell you this, too.”

Sy smiled lightly and leaned over to capture Sam’s lips with his. “I love you, Sammy Freeman. You mean the world to me. I love you more than even I really know.”

Sam smiled, a light shining brightly upon him, giving him a glow about his being. “I love you, Sy Benson. You are my world. You and this little one right here.” He kissed Sy again before pulling back with a smile. “Speaking of this little one right here, we should get him home, bathed, and ready for bed.”

They stood and as Sam, balancing a sleeping Sammy in his arms, his head resting peacefully on his shoulder, began to walk toward where they parked the car, Sy called him back. When he turned, Sy looked at him as if he were a mystery and said, “Thank you.”

Sam smiled with a confused expression. “And to what am I owed this thanks?”

Sy smiled. “For being patient with me. For…encouraging me. For loving me.”