Sam sat listening to the night sounds, staring out at the expanse in front of him.

Two days had passed since Sy finally broke down and told both he and Shelly what his father had done to him that night so long ago.

During the daylight hours, Sy seemed better than he'd been for some time. Freer. There was still a heaviness in his eyes as he processed recent events, but his smile was brighter.

At night and once Sammy was tucked in and sleeping, and once all the day's activities simmered down, Sy's mind would begin to race, his fears and anxieties, unblocked by the lack of something to do, bombarded him. The light would fade from his eyes, the smile from his face, and in its stead were the memories and feelings associated with this now spilled secret.

It seemed to Sy, as he'd admitted to Sam, that now that he'd told, he couldn't help but relive it each night. Sam told him to do whatever it took to work it from the forefront of his mind. If that meant to cry, scream, be held...if it meant to tell him what he was feeling over and over again, that he would be there through it. That they were in this together, and he wasn't going to leave him to fight this battle alone.

They were at Sam's tonight, Sy needing the space to process and sort his mind without his son present to witness. Sammy, though upset his father was leaving, didn't put up as much of a fight as he had before. Hugging them both with teary eyes, he said he loved them and returned to Shelly's side.

Sy had fallen asleep over an hour ago, nestled as he was into Sam's chest. Eventually getting restless, Sam carefully maneuvered out from under him, making his way to the back porch and sitting down just outside the open door. He'd been thinking about asking Sy if he maybe wanted to go away for the week, or even the weekend so they could take Sammy with them. He hoped he wouldn't be opposed to the idea. He wanted to take him somewhere where he could relax, where they could laugh and play and allow all the stresses of real life to shrink back for a time.

Sam turned his gaze to the left as he both saw and heard Sy step out onto the porch beside him and sit down. He smiled sleepily at him, leaning into him, his head resting on Sam's shoulder.

 "Hi, beautiful," Sam said as he kissed the top of his head, inhaling his scent.

He felt Sy smile against his shoulder. "Hi. You okay?" Sy lifted his head to look at him.

Sam half grinned as he looked at him, pressing his lips to Sy's forehead. "Yeah. I just couldn't sleep. I sit out here when I can't sleep a lot. I find it relaxing to listen to the crickets and sounds of nature."

Sy smiled, leaning back against Sam, and nodded. "You always have."

Sam smiled. "Yeah, I guess you're right." There was a pause before, "Hey, uh...I was wondering something..."

The hesitation in his voice made Sy sit back up again. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing." Sam smiled. "Nothing's wrong. I was wondering if maybe you'd like to go somewhere for a few days. We can take Sammy, too. I know he'd enjoy it. And I always love having the little guy with us."

Sy smiled and kissed Sam's shoulder. "When?"

Sam shrugged lightly. "Not sure, exactly. What about when Sammy's on spring break?"

Sy snuggled further into Sam's side and Sam wound his arm around Sy's back. "Where did you have in mind?"

Sam could feel Sy getting heavier against him, his voice becoming slightly slurred as sleep began to warm over him. Sam smiled and kissed his forehead. "We'll figure it out soon. Just sleep, my sweet."

When Sy next woke he was next to Sam in Sam's bed, strong, protective arms winding around him. He never wanted this to end. Shifting, he looked into Sam's sleeping face, a smile slightly parting his lips. As he watched him sleep, his thoughts began to drift. Shifting, he moved closer, his chest resting over Sam's shoulder, nuzzling his nose against the other man's hairline. Inhaling deeply, he pressed his lips gently behind Sam's ear and smiled. His right arm slid over Sam's toned chest, gripping him, holding him close. His thoughts circled over one particular topic. This doesn't feel wrong. Just the opposite, it felt entirely right.

In his sleep Sam tightened his hold against him, not clinging desperately, but hugging him close; Sy smiled as a slow, sleepy grin lightly spread across his features. Still enveloped in Sam's warmth, their legs twisted, entangled in a way that suggested neither wanted to let go, that with a small, contented sigh, Sy was lulled back to sleep.

"Before we go back home, can we stop at the house real quick? There's something I need to pick up." Sy's breath caught at his phrasing, his throat closing as the implications and the absolute joy that rushed through him hit him full force. He allowed himself the smallest smile. It was two days later and they'd spent the day together and had had lunch before they decided to go back to Sy's house.

"Yeah, sure." Sy made a quick exit from the freeway and headed toward the house Sam shared with his brother.

When they pulled into the driveway there was a car there Sy did not recognize. "Logan's home. Do you wanna come say hi?"

Sy looked away and nodded. "Sure."

Sam watched him for a moment. "You don't have to. But you two were friends once. Maybe y'all can get back to being so again. I think you’ve both avoided each other long enough, if you ask me. Don’t you?" Sam watched as trepidation washed over the other man even as Sy nodded in agreement. "Sy, it'll be alright. Come on," he said gently and reassuringly before getting out of the car. Sy followed silently behind, wondering if Logan would be well receiving of his sudden reappearance into their lives.

They walked inside the house, Sy's heart in his throat and pounding wildly behind his chest. Appearing in the living room from the foyer, Logan's eyes shifted from the television to the two of them. Something hardened on his face and Sy averted his eyes. "I just needed to pick up something," Sam told his brother as his hand came in silent support to rub Sy's mid-back. 

Carrie leaned over, her dark skin contrasting against Logan’s beautifully, and said something only Logan could hear before she stood up and made her way over to where they both stood. She smiled at Sam before her eyes met Sy's. Her smile faded the smallest bit but stayed in place as they looked at each other for the first time in over ten years. Without a word, she drew him into a tight hug that spoke volumes, her natural, curly hair engulfing Sy’s face, making him smile. When she pulled back she was smiling with fresh tears pooled in her dark eyes. 

"It's really good to see you again, Sy. I've really missed you over the years." She set her hand on his chest, blinked the tears away, her smile only wavering the minutest bit. "Don't be a stranger, huh, now that you're back."

He smiled tightly, not wanting his emotions to completely take over and overrun him. "I've really missed you, too. And I'll try not to be." Sy's glance flitted over to Logan who was sitting stone still, watching the exchange between the two of them. 

"Don't worry about him. He's not as angry as he's letting on. Talk to him."

Sy frowned and looked down in worry. "I..." He was scared to talk to Logan was what he stopped himself from saying, but somehow she knew what he was getting at.

"He was always just as much your friend as I was, Sy. He loves you. Talk to him." She hugged him again, kissing his shoulder. "It'll be alright, I promise." She stepped back and looked at Sam. "Come on. I'll help you get what you came for."

Sam gave Sy a small, encouraging smile as he and Carrie went to his bedroom and shut the door behind them. Sy, still standing centered in the living room, looked at Logan with utter uncertainty clearly displayed within his expression.

 "Come sit down, Sy. I'm not going to deck you or anything." His voice was quiet, reserved, and Sy did as he asked. "Carrie's been trying to get me to talk to you for a while now. Truth is...when I knew that Sam wanted to bring you here, I left. I couldn't..."

"I'm not mad at you, Logan, for avoiding me. I don't blame you, really," Sy said after a moment's pause. "I'm sorry, Logan. I know that I hurt you that night, and I'm sorry. Did Sam tell you what happened?"

Logan shook his head. "He told me very little. Just that...just that your dad sent you away." He paused. "He said that he didn't want to betray your confidence. That if you wanted me to know, you could tell me. Really, Sy, I just want to know one thing." He looked at him then. His expression had softened, the anger replaced with a long-lived sadness. 

"Why didn't I say goodbye to you." It wasn't a question, but a statement. 

Logan nodded. "Yeah. Why didn't you say goodbye to me?"

Sy let out something between a breath and a sob. "Because it hurt, Logan. That night ripped me into shreds. I had said goodbye to the love of my life. I knew that I would never see him again. I couldn't...God, Logan, I couldn't say goodbye to you, too. You were one of my best friends. I loved you just as much as Sammy, but just differently. And saying goodbye to him..." His voice cracked as he was unable to contain his emotions now.

 "I couldn't. And I'm sorry, Logan. I'm so sorry. I wasn't trying to hurt you. I wasn't trying to be malicious. That night was the worst night of my life. The first night in a long string of nightmares that I still haven't escaped from. It was selfish and you deserved better. But at the time, I just couldn't say goodbye to you, also. I...you can keep hating me, Logan, I won't hold it against you."

Beside him, Logan sighed. "I don't hate you. I never hated you. Hurt. Angry. Yeah. But I knew then, as I know now that you wouldn't have done that to him if you had another option." He paused before, "I never blamed you for leaving, Sy. I knew something drastic happened, even if I didn't know what."

Sy blinked and looked away. "I'm sorry."

Logan watched as he wrapped his arms around himself, how he cowered into himself. Logan gently threw his arm around the other man, a pang hitting him square in the chest as Sy jumped and whimpered.

 "Sy, I'm not gonna hurt you, man." Sy only nodded, his eyes a bit wider than what would be considered normal, his face a bit pale.

"I'm sorry, Logan. I'm sorry about everything. I'm sorry for me. I'm sorry..." The rest of the sentence died off as tears dropped from his eyes in a slow rhythm. If he had finished speaking, he would have said, "I'm sorry I survived." but his throat closed, choking off his words.

Logan watched him a moment before telling him he was going to get Sam, before standing up and walking down the hall leading to Sam's bedroom.

 "Hey," he said from the doorway. "He needs you. And before you get all protective, I didn't say anything to upset him. I was trying to make him feel better."

Sam nodded and sighed heavily. "I'm sure you didn't. He...they really did a number on him, Lo."

Logan nodded. "I can tell. Go to him." And he did.

Two weeks later saw Sam, Sammy, and Sy on the open road. In the end, they decided to wait until Sammy was on Spring break to take their trip together. They were headed to Kings Island, a theme park in Ohio that doubled also as a water park. When they arrived at the hotel they'd booked for the weekend, the park was already closed and everyone was tired from being in the car all day; a trip made longer by the massive accident on the freeway that set them behind more than three hours.

Once arriving, Sam carried the boy, who was mostly asleep, while Sy grabbed their bags and together walked inside to check-in. Once checked in, they found their room and tiredly dragged their feet over to the bed. Sam laid Sammy down in one of the two beds, his eyes coming open momentarily. Sam smiled as he petted the boy's hair, kissing his forehead softly.

 "It's alright. Go back to sleep, little one." Sammy's eyes slid closed then, his little body relaxing into the pillows as Sam pulled the blanket over him. "Night night, Sammy boy. I love you, kiddo."

The boy mumbled something sleepily that resembled an I love you too before he was once again fast asleep. Sam smiled as he watched the boy breathe deeply in sleep, his smile growing as he felt two arms slide around and locking along his abdomen. Sam turned in Sy's arms and kissed him gently. 

"You wanna come shower with me?"

Sam grinned, nodding before following Sy into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

When the water was sufficiently steaming, they stepped in under the water's fall. Sy leaned up and kissed Sam's soft, full lips, wrapping his arms around Sam's neck. 

"I need you, Sammy," Sy whispered against Sam's neck before he bit down, eliciting a soft whimper from Sam.

"Are you sure?" Sy felt his heart rate speed up as arousal spread through him.

"Please, Sammy. I want to feel you. I want to feel…"

At eight the next morning, the three of them ate breakfast ordered from room service as Sammy watched his morning cartoons.

Sy and Sam sat close together behind the small boy on the bed. They shared light touches, smiles, and fed bites of breakfast to each other.

By ten they were walking through the main gates of the amusement park, Sammy's eyes lit up like the excited child he was. Turning to Sy and Sam, he grabbed their hands in each of his and said, "Come on, Daddies, let's go!"

Sam's heart stopped as he slightly staggered after the boy who was dragging him along behind. Sy watched Sam's reaction carefully. Sy's heart clenched momentarily as Sam's face paled, his expression one of shock before his face broke out in a splitting grin that spoke volumes.

Part of Sy had been afraid of his son getting too attached to Sam, not knowing how things would turn out in the end. Not wanting Sammy to know the pain of parental dereliction.

His anxiety melted away at the look of pride and adoration and love in Sam's eyes.

They had a blast at the park. Riding roller coasters and even some of the smaller rides that Sammy didn’t typically ride, but did this time. Sam and Sy kept sending each other loving glances and sharing quick kisses as they were dragged from attraction to attraction by the excited Sammy.

They ate their fill of cotton candy and corn dogs, made sure to buy photos of themselves on the roller coasters, and generally let Sammy control the day.

They got back to the hotel close to dinner time, their skin crisp from the sun; minus Sammy who was kept slathered in sunblock.

When they got out of the car at the hotel, Sammy silently asked Sam to pick him up, his little arms outstretched toward him. As he walked, Sam thought about the boy in his arms who so very much resembled his father. He thought about Sy. He contemplated how right it felt to carry Sammy like this. He pondered the feeling that burst in his chest when Sammy called him 'Daddy' this morning. He smiled, hugging the boy a bit tighter as he realized how right it felt. How natural it felt.

"Can I ask you something?" Sam said hours later, glancing at Sy as he did. Sammy had fallen asleep over an hour previous and Sam's mind had been replaying a moment from their past.

"Of course. Anything."

"You remember when we were...about fifteen, I guess. And we stayed up all night talking about the family we wanted together? 'Member?"

Sy smiled lightly. "Yeah, I remember."

Looking at the sleeping boy in the adjacent bed Sam said, "I love him, Sy, like he was my own. I want to watch him grow up. I want to be there for his first love. His first heartbreak. I want to be his daddy, too. I didn't know how much until this morning. But I love him. And I love you. Is...I mean is that okay?"

Sy studied him for a moment before answering. He could tell he was nervous by the wringing of his lithe hands. Slowly, he nodded before a large grin spread across his face.

 "Yes. Yes, that's more than okay." Sy bit his bottom lip nervously before he said, "Can I make a confession?"

Sam nodded, his nerves suddenly on edge with the prospect of what Sy was about to say. "I love that you love him. And me. And please believe me when I say that that is not outside the realm of what I want. But it scares me."

Sam nodded. "Why exactly does it scare you?"

Sy glanced at the boy sleeping soundly on the bed and thought about his answer. "Because...I'm scared, Sammy. I'm scared that what they said was true."

"Which was what?" Sam's tone was gentle, prodding with just the right pressure.

"'Indulgence results in punishment'."