“Sebastian!”

“Dad!” Nizhoni and Jaxsen shouted upon entering the house. They each had a large, brown bag with The Olive Garden and its logo printed on the front.

“We’re home, Dad. Come get dinner.” They walked into the kitchen and placed the bags on the table as Nizhoni began to divvy out the orders.

“Yanaha, will you please go extract you father from in front of his keyboard?”

Jaxsen giggled. “’Kay.” Basil watched him turn and walk the other direction. He smiled lightly as he watched him go.

He can never know a voice whispered from somewhere in the back of his mind. He’ll leave you like Dad did. And like Mom will once she finds out what you are. His smile faded as these thoughts broke his faltering self-esteem.

Nizhoni watched Basil covertly as she set the table from the corner of her eye. She knew well that look of desperate longing for something perceived not yours. 

They’re both too advanced for their own good, she thought with a hint of sadness. Silently Nizhoni wished the boy her best for his eventual self-discovery and self-acceptance. 

“Basil, honey, will you grab drinks from the fridge for me, please?” He nodded chewing on his bottom lip.

“What do you want me to get, Zhoni?” he asked, peering inside.

“Grab the jug of tea in there for Sebastian and I. I’m sure Yanaha will want his Snapple that’s in there. And you, my dear, can have whatever you like that’s in there.” She smiled at him before he grabbed all she’d listed and an extra Snapple for himself.

As he set the drinks on the table he asked, “What’s ‘Yanaha’ mean, Zhoni?”

She smiled. “That’s the Navajo name I have given to Jaxsen. It means ‘Brave’.”

Basil smiled lightly and looked down. “He is really brave, isn’t he?” Basil looked at his hands as he said this, and he felt the blush creeping up into his cheeks.

“Daddy?” Jaxsen said poking his head into the tidy office Sebastian would recluse to write until such time where he or Nizhoni dragged him out for food or sleep. Sebastian had his back to the door so Jaxsen could not see his face from where he stood in the doorway.

“Yeah, Jack?” Even Sebastian knew how strained his voice sounded. He cleared his throat. He started and looked to his forearm where he spotted a small hand with dirty fingernails that needed clipping. Sighing inwardly he looked up and met bright blue eyes that held a worrisome expression.

“Daddy? What’s the matter?”

Sebastian didn’t answer. Gently he placed his palm against the boy’s cheek. “I love you, sweet boy.”

Jaxsen frowned. “I love you, too, Daddy. What’s wrong?”

“Come ‘ere, Jack.” Sebastian lifted the boy into his lap and wrapped his arms almost too tightly around Jaxsen’s smaller frame. Jaxsen said nothing about it, however, and hugged his father in equal fervor. Sebastian pulled back and smiled at him. “I love you, Jaxsen. Do you have any idea how much I love you?” He ran his hand through Jaxsen’s long hair.

“Of course I do. I love you, too, Daddy,” he answered. He paused, considering something as he looked at Sebastian; that maybe grownup’s needed reassurance too sometimes. “You know what?”

“What?”

Jaxsen looked at his father a moment before speaking further. “I realized…well…it was more of an epiphany, really…but…I’m not afraid of you leaving me anymore. I’m not afraid of being forgotten when the baby comes. And…well, it’s ‘cause I know how much you and Mommy love me. I know I’m not gonna be shoved aside. You’ve taught me that, Daddy.”

Sebastian smiled, the tightness in his chest easing. Gently he petted the boy’s hair. “You’re a good kid, Jack. I’m really proud of you.” 

Jaxsen blushed scarlet and giggled. “Thanks, Daddy. You hungry? We brought back Olive Garden for dinner.”

“I am indeed, kiddo. Go on and tell Mom that I’ll be there in just a second, okay?”

Jaxsen nodded. “Daddy, are you sure you’re okay?”

Sebastian nodded and swallowed. “Yeah, I’ll be fine, sweet one. Go on. I’ll be there in a minute.” Jaxsen nodded, kissed his cheek and told him he loved him one more time before hopping down and leaving the room.

All through dinner Jaxsen kept a close eye on his father. He knew something was wrong. Jaxsen noted the dark circles under his eyes, the red, swollen, gleam and glossy look they held. His eyes lacked the usual spark they held when they ate together as a family. His lips were drawn downward for most of the dinner; though to his credit he did laugh at the funny stories the boys told of their adventures. Even more to his credit, despite whatever it was that made him look so sad, the laughter was real. After dinner Basil helped Jaxsen and Sebastian wash, dry, and put away the dishes. Basil was happy to help. To feel included. With them he felt like he belonged somewhere. Like he was loved. He really didn’t want to go home. The thought pulled at his heart strings and he had to fight the urge to cry.

“Basil?” Basil snapped out of his thoughts at the calling of his name.

“Huh?” Jaxsen was looking at him, a slight frown adorning his face.

“You okay?”

Basil looked down. “No.” He placed the glass in his hand in its correct spot before turning and leaving the kitchen. He had meant to say he was fine, perfectly fine, and help finish off the last bit of dirty dishes, but the truth came instead. Jaxsen looked to Sebastian for guidance.

“Go on, take care of him. I’ll finish this up.” Jaxsen nodded his thanks and followed after his friend.

Basil knew Jaxsen would be shortly behind him and attempted to regain his composure first. It wasn’t working. He leaned his back against the wall and waited.

“Why do I care so damn much that she doesn’t care at all?” He asked when Jaxsen entered the room.

“’Cause she’s your mother.” Jaxsen set his arms around Basil’s shoulders.

Basil sighed. “This is stupid. Why should I care? Why should I waste the energy it takes to give a fuck?” As quickly as the anger flared it burned out and the tears surfaced once again. “I want her to care about me again. I want her to hug me and tell me she loves me. I don’t want her to hurt me anymore, Jaxsen.” They sat silently beside one another for several minutes before Basil finally spoke again.

“Jaxsen, can I ask you something?”

“You can ask anything you want,” Jaxsen answered, turning to look at him.

“How come you don’t like scary movies?”

Jaxsen shrugged and fidgeted with a loose string on the blue and yellow checkered comforter. “Because I…” He watched his fingers twirl around the thread. “I spent so much time being scared…I…I don’t want to be scared anymore, Basil.”

Basil placed his hand on Jaxsen’s shoulder, causing the other boy to look up at him. “I wasn’t trying to upset you with the question. I’m sorry.”

Jaxsen shook his head. “No, you’re fine. I don’t mind answering your questions.”

Basil considered this with a slight frown before asking, “Why? If it’s painful…I don’t wanna hurt you, Jax.”

Jaxsen smiled lightly. “Because I trust you, Basil.”

Basil’s face brightened with a wide smile, his heart lifting a bit at the news. His pride swelled in knowing that this was one of the highest forms of compliments. “Thanks, Jaxsen. I trust you, too.” Basil dropped his gaze, smiling to himself.

The month passed by quickly and before he knew it Basil had three days left before returning home the following Monday. It was just after ten p.m. on Friday night. The boys were watching a movie in Jaxsen’s room while Nizhoni and Sebastian talked, the television flashing muted pictures before them.

“So I’ve been noticing lately…well, since Basil has been here anyway…I think he might have a crush on Jaxsen.”

Sebastian chuckled. “Yeah? What about Jaxsen?”

Nizhoni shrugged. “I really don’t think he has any clue. It’s rather cute, though.”

Sebastian nodded, grinning before it fell away. “I feel bad for sending him back to his mother. He doesn’t want to go. You don’t think there’s more going on do you?”

“No, I think he was pretty honest. We’ll keep an eye out. If nothing else, just invite him over to stay a week out of the month. At least then you can watch. But I’ve never seen any bruises on him that couldn’t be explained by way of a rowdy ten-year-old boy.”

Sebastian nodded. “Yeah, I haven’t either. I don’t think he’s spoken six words since he got home from school today. He doesn’t want to go back.”

Nizhoni snorted with derision. “Of course he doesn’t. Do you blame the kid?”

He ran his hands over his face, through his hair. “No. If that’s what he has to wake up to in the morning. I’d take him in a heartbeat if it ever became necessary.”

Nizhoni smiled at the seriousness in his face fondly. “I know, my love. Protector of lost souls…you always have been. You certainly protected mine over the years.” This last part was spoken in low tones, heavy with surfacing emotion.

He gently swiped a thumb across her cheek. “Goddamn hormones,” she cried harshly in exaggeration, wiping harshly at her face. “How easy it is to crush them down completely.” She shook her head sadly. “I wish we could keep him indefinitely…but if she stays sober…” Nizhoni shook her head in disgust.

“It’s hard to prove abuse without physical evidence. Sadly we’ll just have to wait until the law is fighting with us and not against us.”

Sebastian sighed. “Yeah, I know. But I still feel terrible that I have to send him back there. Did I tell you he asked if I could be his dad and if he could just stay here?” Nizhoni shook her head. “God, babe, it ripped my heart out.”

“I can imagine.”

Sebastian sighed and they went upstairs. Trying to shut out his thoughts and pulling Nizhoni into his arms, he lay down, shut the light, and fell asleep bathed within her warmth.