Jaxsen sat at his work table on the first day back at school and waited eagerly for Basil to join him. Several familiar faces harried each other through the open door in an attempt to get seated before the bell. When Basil did make a last minute appearance, Jaxsen smiled. 

“Hey, Jaxsen.” Basil dropped his backpack and slunk into his chair. Jaxsen’s smile broadened into a grin as Basil offered him a slice of his orange.

“How was your holiday?” Jaxsen asked as he popped the orange slice into his mouth, savoring the rich citrus flavor bursting across his taste buds. 

“Um, it was fine, I guess.” Basil shrugged and looked away for a moment before seemingly recalling his manners. “How,” his voice broke off, hoarse and thick. “How was yours?”

Jaxsen half grinned, half grimaced, “It was…adventuresome, to say the least. I’ll tell you at lunch.” Looking around, brows furrowed, he added, “Where’s Melissa?”

“She and her mom went to Ireland to visit her dad’s parents. I talked to her a couple days ago on-line and she told me that the airports were closed due to in climate weather.”

Jaxsen frowned. “Oh, okay.” Basil looked up from his orange, his thick brows coming together in the center, welling confusion he did not subsume appearing at the tone of Jaxsen’s voice; but the moment passed quickly as it appeared.

“You okay, Jax?” Basil asked around his last bit of fruit.

“Huh?” Jaxsen shook his head as if trying to dispel some imaginary mental fog. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Before any further discussion could commence, the teacher, Mr. Woodworth, announced class to begin.

“So what was so adventuresome about your Christmas break?” Basil kept a close eye on his chocolate milk lest it spill as he attempted to open it.

“Well…” Jaxsen told Basil all about his enterprise with the not-so-frozen pond and the happenings, leaving out some of the more emotional aspects during that half month. “That’s not all though.” Jaxsen grinned. “Guess what one of my presents was.”

“I haven’t a clue,” Basil answered, chuckling at his friend’s excitement as he took a bite of his mashed potatoes. 

Jaxsen smiled, his whole face lighting up brighter than the center of the sun. “Bastian…he…adopted me.”

Basil’s expression morphed into one of the purest grins, his face matching the excitement of his companion’s. “Really? That’s great, Jaxsen.” Basil’s smile was as big as if it were he who’d just been adopted instead. Jaxsen smiled broadly at his pleasure at the announcement, a fire-like light in his aqua-marine eyes.

“Yeah, he surprised me after we’d opened all the presents. Called me into the room pretending the box was missed behind the tree until then.”

“He wrapped it and everything?” Basil asked as he took a bite of his sub-sandwich.

Jaxsen nodded. “Yep. It was a really good day.” Basil smiled around his food. “What about you? What’d you do?” Jaxsen noticed Basil's sorrowful posture when he’d asked about his vacation in class, but hadn’t the opportunity to inquire further. His expression was much the same now. He shifted stiffly in his seat, averting his eyes to his lunch tray. Jaxsen waited not wanting to interrupt his train of thought. 

Finally in a pained voice, spoken roughly and haltingly he said, “I’d, um, rather not talk about it here…if-if that’s alright.” Basil’s eyes scanned the other children in the commons area where lunch was served.

“Well sure, Basil. ‘Course. Are you okay, though?”

Basil shrugged. “I guess.” They lapsed into silence and finished their lunch.

“Hey, what are you doing this weekend?” Jaxsen asked as they packed up their books for the day. Basil shrugged a broad shoulder. He’d been quiet all day, showing only brief moments of avid conversation. The rest of the time he was withdrawn, forlorn, his eyes clouded with whatever happened on his Christmas vacation. Basil stopped moving, his hand inside his backpack, his fingers draped loosely over his history book.

“Probably nothing. Why?” Finally, he made eye contact.

“Wanna maybe come stay over? I don’t think my dad will mind.”

Basil visibly swallowed, closed his eyes and nodded. “Yeah that might be fun.” Without a word Jaxsen zipped up his pack and slung an arm around his friend.

“It will be. Do you need a ride home?”

“No. My mom should be here.”

“Want us to wait if she’s not here yet?” They proceeded down the hallway toward the front doors. 

“If you want.” His voice was lacking emotion, his face now carefully hidden of all he was feeling. Jaxsen wondered if he purposefully did not mask his feelings around him, allowing him to make the connections that something was amiss. He smiled quietly to himself. He’d never had anyone who had put that much faith in him before.

“Hey, Dad?” Sebastian handed him a plate to dry. They stood together at the sink doing their nightly dishes ritual. They switched off on who washed and who dried. Tonight was Sebastian’s turn.

“What?” Jaxsen set the next dish on top of the last in the cabinet.

“I was wondering if it would be okay if Basil spent the night this weekend. He was really sad today and I’m hoping to cheer him up. Is that okay?”

Sebastian smiled. “Yeah, it’s not a problem for me at all.” And it wasn’t. Sebastian was quite fond of the boy and never minded him over. Jaxsen smiled and hugged him, leaning precariously over from the perch he’d had upon his stool.

“Thanks, Daddy.”

“You’re welcome, Jack. What’s going on with Basil?” Jaxsen accepted a dripping bowl with a towel covered hand.

“I don’t know, he wouldn’t say at school. But whatever it is, it’s got him pretty upset.” He shrugged and put away the white porcelain dish. “If nothing else maybe I can take his mind off it for a little while anyway.” 

Sebastian smiled fondly. “You’re a good kid, Jack. I know one day you’ll grow up to be a hell of a man.”

Jaxsen woke suddenly, his heart pounding, a cold sweat layered his clammy skin, drawing goose flesh as a chill ran up his spine. His eyes dashed around the room in panic, his heart painfully pounding behind his ribs. Sitting in the dark of his room he wrapped his arms around his center, doubled over and allowed the tears to come. He hadn’t had a nightmare of this magnitude in months; the kind that’s surreal in its lucidity. He started when he felt a hand on his shoulder, flinching away with a whimper Sebastian had never before heard from him.

“Easy, Jack, easy. It’s just me, sweet boy.” If not his words, his voice broke through the boy’s nightmare coddled brain. Sebastian caught him up easily in his arms when the child launched himself at his protection. “It’s okay, baby boy, you’re okay. I’ve got you.” Sebastian kept up this calming mantra, rocking gently back and forth. After a while Jaxsen calmed, the trembling settled and his tears slowed, yet he made no attempt whatsoever to remove himself from Sebastian’s arms. Finally Jaxsen did sit up, the tears on his cheeks reflecting the pale moonlight. Sebastian’s arms dropped heavily from around him, but they did not break all physical contact. Jaxsen sniffled and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. Absently he picked up Sebastian’s larger hand in both of his own and inattentively played with the fingers on Sebastian’s right hand.

He was silent for several moments, the tips of his small fingers tracing abstract patterns across Sebastian’s palm. He sniffled again and two drops of salt-water tears landed with a splash where Jaxsen’s fingers roamed callused digits. Jaxsen stilled, his fingers curling round to grasp Sebastian tightly.

“Why did they have to leave me behind?” Jaxsen looked up and into his eyes, his vision in a repeating pattern of clear and blurred. “Why did they have to leave me? Why’d they have to die? Why did they take them away from me, Bastian, why? I don’t understand. I don’t understand why.” In a desperate frenzy of emotion Jaxsen pulled himself firmly into Sebastian’s lap and curled into the smallest ball a single little boy could. In immediate reaction Sebastian wrapped his arms, strong and safe, tightly around his son. At least he knew now what the content of his nightmare was made of. 

“I don’t wanna be left behind anymore. Everyone leaves me behind. They’ve all forgotten me. Please don’t leave me, Daddy. Don’t forget me, too.”

Sebastian pulled the boy closer still against his chest, re-securing his hold around him. “Oh, my sweet boy,” Sebastian whispered as he kissed the top of moppy blond hair. “I could never forget you and if it’s anywhere in my power, I’ll be around a long, long time yet, okay?”

Jaxsen nodded and swallowed, not trusting his voice at the moment. “Am I a bad son, Dad?” Sebastian inhaled a calming breath, slow and steady. He needed a moment to collect his wits about him and he inhaled the scent of Jaxsen’s shampoo mingled with his own profoundly unique scent.

“No, my love. Why would you think that?”

“’Cause it’s the only thing that makes sense!” he wailed in answer.

“How does that make any lick of sense, sweet boy?” Jaxsen turned his face into Sebastian’s chest, drying his eyes on the cotton of Sebastian’s shirt.

“Because why else would they all hurt me?” He looked up at Sebastian, his heart on his sleeve and his fear tracking wetly down his cheeks. “If I’m not bad, why couldn’t I do something to help my mommy and daddy? If I’m not bad, why didn’t anyone love me after them? Bastian, in two years I was in six homes before you. Do you know how long they kept me? Less than three months on average, except the last one. Do you know how many were nice to me?” He paused waiting for an answer.

“No, Jack. No, I don’t.” Sebastian cupped Jaxsen’s cheek while thumbing away newly fallen tears.

“One. Well, really two if you count the place I stayed the night at the night Mommy and Daddy died. The others, they hurt me. If they didn’t beat me, they didn’t care about me. They didn’t love me. I was an obligation-a job they got a check for.” He shook his head and looked down. “You know what the bottom denominator is between them all? Me.” He chewed a moment on his bottom lip before continuing, “If-if I’m not bad then why did over half…over half, Bastian…why did they do that to me? I tried to be good. I tried. Why didn’t it matter?” The last few words came out in gasping sobs that contorted his words to w-y di’nt it ma’er and Sebastian once more pulled him tightly against him, holding on like an anchor in a raging storm.