Once he was done packing the rest of his suitcase, Jaxsen sat down in the center of his bed to write some in the journal Sebastian had given him shortly after some bullies at his old school destroyed the one his mother had given him not long before she was murdered. A light but heavy knocking brought him back from his mind.

“Mind if I come in?”

Jaxsen shrugged. “Sure.” Jaxsen began to fidget nervously as apprehension surrounded him. Sebastian sat on the mattress facing Jaxsen. 

“Listen, Jack, I owe you an apology for the way I’ve been acting the last few days.”

Jaxsen looked down. “It’s okay. I understand, Daddy.”

Sebastian smiled sadly. “No, you don’t. Jack…” Sebastian sighed. “When Daniel was killed I shut myself down and when I shut down, I shut everyone out. Except Nizhoni, but it wasn’t as a result of a lack of trying. I shut out everyone, including my mother. Essentially that day she lost both her grandson and her son. For years, and maybe even now, there’s been some resentment between us. I haven’t actually seen her for almost a year, but Nizhoni talks to her a few times a month. I messed up a lot of good things in my life after Daniel…but, Jack, what I won’t do is destroy what good I’ve gained. That’s you, Jack. I’m sorry, sweet boy, that I’ve been such an asshole lately. I’m telling you this in hopes you understand the totality of what I’m going to now say. As you know your dad and I were once very close.”

Jaxsen nodded wondering where this was going. “When they told you you were coming here, what did they say?”

Jaxsen frowned. “Just that they found someone to place me with in Indiana. It wasn’t until the lady came to pick me up from the group home that I was told you knew my dad. But they didn’t go into any great detail. Why?”

Sebastian shook his head, more than irritated at the inaccuracy of the foster care system. “Jack, they didn’t give you the information in its entirety.”

“They didn’t?”

“No. What you should have been told is that when you were born I became your godfather, as you know. Your mother and father put in their will that should something happen to them, you were to be placed with me as your legal guardian. I’m not fostering you, Jack. This isn’t a foster home you have to worry about being sent away from. I will not send you away. You belong here, with me. It doesn’t matter what you do, or how mad I might get, or if I’m just being as ass-for which, Jaxsen, I really am sorry about-but at the end of the day, I still love you, and that won’t change. Now, come here. I could really use a hug.” 

Wasting no time Jaxsen was in Sebastian’s arms. “I’m sorry, Jack. Forgive me?” Jaxsen nodded into Sebastian’s chest. “I love you, sweet boy.” Sebastian smiled and squeezed the boy’s shoulders. 

“I love you, too, Daddy.” There was a pause before, “Daddy?” He sounded nervous.

“What?”’

“Since we’re going to your mom’s, um, d-do do you want me to call you by your name again?” he couldn’t look at him as he asked, afraid of what the answer might be.

Sebastian frowned. “No. Why would I want that?”

Jaxsen shrugged. “Well, ‘cause we’re going to your mom’s…” He said this as if it explained everything.

“I don’t understand, Jack.”

“Well, I mean, um, I don’t want to make her sad. What if calling you ‘Daddy’ reminds her of Daniel and makes her sad?” He sniffled. “I don’t wanna make her sad.”

“Sweet boy, look at me.” Sebastian pulled back to meet his gaze. Gently he thumbed away the boy’s tears and said, “Baby, she understands. She knows you’re here, knows that I love you, and knows you call me ‘Daddy’. It won’t make her sad, Jack, you know why?” He shook his head. “Because that will give her the opportunity to earn the title of ‘Grandma’ from you.”

Jaxsen smiled a bit hesitantly. “She-she wants to be my grandma?”

Sebastian smiled. “Count on it. Don’t be nervous, she’s a great woman, Jack.”

“Then how come you don’t see her more?”

“It’s complicated,” he answered. He did not want to contemplate the answers to that question, but Jaxsen’s innocent query planted a seed in Sebastian’s mind. 

“I wish I could see my mommy one more time.”

“Jaxsen, do you have everything?” Nizhoni asked as she shut the trunk of her car once the luggage was packed. 

“Yes, Zhoni,” he said as he climbed into the backseat. Sebastian came out of the house and locked the door. Nizhoni smiled at the item in his hand before climbing into the passenger’s seat. Sebastian got into the driver’s side and turned to face Jaxsen after starting the car.

“Jack.” Jaxsen looked from the window toward the source of the sound and smiled sheepishly.

“Thank you.” He took his journal and held it close to his chest. 

“You ready, Jack?” Sebastian asked before pulling out of the driveway.

“Yep,” he answered with a smile. Jaxsen allowed himself to feel the excitement of the road trip in full knowledge this was a much different trip than the other times he’d packed up his belongings. He was meeting Sebastian’s mother. He secretly hoped she would like being his grandmother. He never met his maternal grandparents, and his paternal grandparents weren’t ever around much before they died less than a year before his parents, and even then, Glen kept them very distant from their lives, and Jaxsen had known not to bring them up. He’d never understood what happened between his father and his mother and father. All he really knew was that when Glen emancipated himself as a teenager he didn’t look back.

They merged onto Interstate 65 toward Chicago. “Jack, you hungry, sweet boy? Wanna stop and eat?” Sebastian asked as he exited. Jaxsen looked up from the book he’d brought for the trip.

“Yeah,” he said with a definite nod. Sebastian smiled at Jaxsen, squeezed Nizhoni’s hand, which was nestled in his, and stopped at the first Burger King they ran across.

Jaxsen hopped out of the car and called to Sebastian before they reached the door. He reached up for Sebastian to carry him, suddenly feeling anxious in the unfamiliar surroundings.

“Hi, how can I help you today?” the teen behind the register asked. She smiled a dimply smile and waved to Jaxsen. He smiled and shyly waved back.

“You know what you want?” Sebastian asked. His shyness and anxiety made speaking difficult at best. To Sebastian he signed he wanted chicken nuggets, fries, and lemonade. Before Sebastian could say anything to the girl she signed something and Jaxsen blushed deeply. Nizhoni and Sebastian chuckled at the compliment.

“You sign?” Nizhoni asked. The girl nodded.

“Yes, Ma’am. My little brother is deaf.”

Soon thereafter they had their meals and were sitting at a table in the back corner. Like he’d done when he first arrived with Sebastian when they’d go out, Jaxsen sat in his lap while they ate.

“Yanaha, you’re doing very well with your signing. Not too much longer and I’d say you’ll have it mastered,” Nizhoni complimented with a smile.

Jaxsen smiled at her around his nuggets. A few months previous Jaxsen had asked Nizhoni to teach him American Sign Language and he was a star pupil. They chatted aimlessly while they ate, stopped at the restrooms, and continued out onto I-80. As they traveled they played ‘I Spy’ and other fun car games. Jaxsen had been thoroughly entertained when Sebastian put in ‘The Lion King’ soundtrack and he and Nizhoni took turns singing different parts.

When they exited I-41, Sebastian began to notice Jaxsen becoming a bit fidgety. “Jack, you need to go to the bathroom?” He nodded. “Are you hungry or want to snack on something?”

“I’m not really hungry, but I’m thirsty. Can I have some chips?”

“Whatever you want, sweet boy.” Jaxsen smiled. He had never mentioned it before, but he loved when Sebastian called him that. His father used to call him that and he wondered that if when he was a baby, Sebastian called him that endearment. They let Jaxsen use the restroom and walk around and grab an assortment of snacks ranging from sweet to salty, and in twenty minutes were back out onto the road again. They took the W-115 exit, traveled another twenty-five minutes and exited again.

“Welcome to Camelia Population 12,010,” Jaxsen read as they entered the city limits. “Daddy is this the town you grew up in?”

“Nope, sure isn’t. I grew up in Peoria, Illinois. Mom moved here when I was still in the Marines, not long after my dad passed.”

“Oh, okay.” Jaxsen watched the picturesque scenery pass by his window. Down the center median separating the four lanes of traffic coming in and out of town were large Evergreens decorated lavishly in colorful lights. The whole town seemed to join in the festive holiday; houses and businesses alike decorated in lights and Christmas spirit. Soon enough Jaxsen found himself staring at the outside of a medium size, two story house. From the inside foyer window Jaxsen saw a woman in her mid-sixties with a warm smile on her face.

“Come on, let’s go inside. I’ll come back for our bags in a bit.” Jaxsen tried not to be nervous as the three of them advanced toward the front door. When they reached the large wrap-around porch the door opened to reveal the elderly woman. She smiled first at her son, who gave her a hug and kiss to the cheek, followed by a hug from Nizhoni. 

“Now, where is this little one I’ve been hearing so much about?” Sebastian half turned, pulling Jaxsen out from behind his leg. Normally, Jaxsen was an extremely shy child when put into unfamiliar places with unfamiliar people. This was no exception. Sebastian picked him up so he was eye-level with her. She smiled warmly, her gray-blue eyes sparkled with excited merriment. “Well, look at you,” she beamed at him. “You are just as precious as you can be, aren’t you?” Jaxsen smiled shyly and looked down.

“Say hi, Jack,” Sebastian said, bouncing him slightly as he perched on his hip. Jaxsen smiled, his face turning red and tentatively waved.

“Hello, Ma’am.”

She laughed. “And so polite.” Jaxsen blushed a deeper crimson, his fingers reaching up to twirl the hair on the back of Sebastian’s neck. This was something Jaxsen did frequently, as it acted as a calming agent when the child needed comfort. “Call me, Gramma Rose, dear. My, my, though, where are my manners? Come inside before you catch your deaths out here.” She ushered them inside to the warmth of a log burning fireplace and shut the big, white oaken door. Sebastian deposited Jaxsen onto an extraordinarily large sofa and sat down next to him. In the trip induced sleepiness, Jaxsen leaned into Sebastian, who wrapped an arm around his shoulders and drew him close. In a matter of minutes he was asleep.

He woke up sometime later alone and on the couch. It took Jaxsen a few moments to gain his bearings and remember exactly where he was. The momentary bout of rushing panic subsided when he heard Sebastian’s laughter drifting from the kitchen. He pushed a big blanket off his legs, careful that it didn’t fall to the floor in his haste to get up. He walked into the kitchen and up to Sebastian as he yawned and knuckled the sleep from his eyes.

“Hey, sweet boy,” Sebastian said softly and lifted the boy into his lap. Jaxsen sat facing him, his legs to either side of Sebastian’s, his head against Sebastian’s chest; the rhythmic thump thump thump of his heart calming him considerably. Sebastian wrapped his arms around his lower back, his fingers locking around the boy. 

Gently Sebastian rocked him and kissed atop his tow-head. Rose watched the scene with a heavy heart but a smile upon her lips. She remembered a time when it was another little boy in that position in his father’s lap.

“Did you have a good nap, huh?” He nodded and yawned then rubbed his eyes again. “I bet. You fell asleep pretty fast.” Sebastian kissed the child’s head again as he continued to rock him. Rose watched her son. She noted the differences since the last time she saw him. He had color back in his skin, and a smile, a real smile, on his face. The smile was because of Jaxsen, she knew. He was more relaxed. Everything about him, his posture, his shoulders, his hands. She remembered how for so long after Daniel died his fists were always clenched. The shadows and dark circles under his eyes, while still there, were no longer those of a grieving parent, but of a father who is raising an energetic nine-year-old boy.

The haunted look that had remained so much in the forefront of his eyes had receded. The death of her grandson, she knew, would always haunt her son. But there was something else there now and she saw it when Sebastian looked at Jaxsen. Fatherly love for a son. More than anything, Sebastian looked alive. Rose smiled and stood, the sound making three sets of eyes land on her. She smiled and ran her fingers through Jaxsen’s hair.

“Muffin, are you hungry? I put away a plate for you.” Jaxsen smiled, the nickname making him blush, but for some reason that simple term of endearment warmed him. 

“Yes, please,” he replied with a smile. A few moments later Rose placed a plate in front of him which the contents made his mouth salivate and his stomach growl. Before him sat a feast of succulent lemon-pepper chicken breast, green beans picked from her garden and frozen, and hand-mashed potatoes.